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How do you handle your 17 moving in with her boyfriend when she turns 18 and your husband deploying all in the same year?

My husband will be deploying for the first time next year and we have recently found out that our 17 plans to move out and move in wither her boyfriend when she turns 18 next July. She will be going to college and doesn't want to live on campus and now all of a sudden doesn't want to live at home either. Her boyfriend graduated in May (2010) and is not going to college but is repoing cars with his father. Any advice on how to handle losing both my husband and dauther at the same time?

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Asked by armywife1993 at 8:32 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (15 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Stay busy. Take up a class or volunteer. Do something to keep your mind off things. It's my experience that they both will be back so it's just a mini vacation.

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:35 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • You will need to keep yourself busy. A few ideas ~ new hobby, more nights/dinners out with friends, weekly girls movie night.

    Answer by tortkey at 8:36 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • You aren't losing either. Your daughter will be 18 and that IS old enough to move out and become her own person. We raise our children to become independent, so you have one good there. My oldest son was deployed and my 20yo will deploy next year and I didn't see it as losing my son or going to lose my son, they will just be away. Take a class yourself, whatever interests you & volunteer somewhere, perhaps doing something to help with the troops and organizing a drive to send care packages to them. There are so many things that you can do. None of this is an end or a loss, it's an oppurtunity to grow as a person.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I don't think grown children should live at home, so I would be more than supportive of her moving in with him. But the deployment? I don't think I could handle that kind of thing, I don't know how any woman does...

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 8:49 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I would feel bad. But I would also want my daughter to go to college and live at home/. SHe might get pregnant living with her boyfriend, lose her ambition and I can see that happening because her boyfriend is not going to college...that's two strikes against them and their futures. I would be so depressed. Kids can become independent and move away from home AFTER they get their 4 year college degree. Nowdays it takes a minimum of a Bachelors' degree, maybe a masters' degree to make it and have decent career.Encourage her to finish college.

    Answer by kerp1960 at 9:04 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • kerp.... What if her daughter went to a college in another state? She wouldn't be at home, she could still get pregnant, and even if she lived at home she could still get pregnant and lose her ambition to attend college. Living at home is not the cure all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

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