I hope this isn't too confusing, I will try to summerize as much as I can. I'm on my 3rd marriage. I suffer from Acute depression, with anxiety issues. I have 3 children, none are my Husbands . They have a realtionship with their biodad, and call my Husband Dad (on their own, not because we said to.) I have been fighting a battle with myself for years. I have found when I'm on my own, not attached to anyone, my depression gets better. I have learned through therapy why I cling to a man, and feel I need to be dependent on them. I had a horrible relationship with my father when he was alive, and am constantly trying to replace it. I know that's wrong. That's why I'm in therapy.
My dilemma is I Love my Husband, but I want to be on my own. I know my children Love him, and that's where I come to a road block. I don't want to hurt them. I can afford to get out on my own, so that's not a problem. I have told my Husband that I need to go, but he always seems to convince me that it's my depression causing me to not think straight, and then I give in and don't persue it. I have told my therapist I want to be on my own. She doesn't really have anything to say about it.
This afternoon I got pretty down, all I could do was cry, and then thought to myself if I didn't have children, I would have already ended it. ( my life I mean). They are the only reason I'm still walking this earth. This is the lowest I have ever been, and I don't know what to do. Have any of you gone through this, or going through it?
I don't have parents anymore, no close family, it's just me, my Husband, and our children. Oh and my Husband insisted on the therapy, and I don't feel it's helping at all.
If anyone could give me some insight, or advice I would really appreciate it.
Asked by Anonymous at 10:15 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Relationships
Answer by amessageofhope at 12:44 AM on Dec. 3, 2010
Answer by ceallaigh at 10:24 PM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by admckenzie at 10:56 PM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by jeanclaudia at 11:32 PM on Dec. 2, 2010
Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:26 AM on Dec. 3, 2010
I think you fear abandonment, so therefore you want to abandon first. What if you took a good look at this issue with your therapist. She might be able to give you some concrete help. Right now I don't think she can, because you are not really depressed because you want to be on your own. You are depressed because of some deeper issue.
Answer by lilangilyn at 3:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2010