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Does anyone ever get so upset they turn physically abusive towards SO??

I have always had a bad temper. But I have noticed an increase in my need to physically abuse or throw things. I am taking anger mgmt. classes to help me. I don't want to be this way, but at the time, I feel like it's the only way to get through to him. He is very selfish. But I know that is no excuse to hit someone. I don't want to leave him. We are having a baby in February.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Dec. 2, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • No, domestic violence is wrong and I wont ever hit my hubby or tolerate being hit. If he hit me I would leave him and I'd expect the same if I left him. I feel for your husband.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:48 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • No, never. If we are upset, we just walk away and cool off. It is never okay to hit your SO, unless you are defending yourself against physical violence, and in that case, after that happens, you shouldn't be together.
    twin_mommy

    Answer by twin_mommy at 10:48 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • *expect the same if I hit him...oops
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 10:48 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • You may want to get tested for a disorder like bipolar or bpd
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I can understand being angry & frustrated enough to throw things. I've done it myself. But when you are pregnant & hitting a man? That's dangerous territory...what if he hits you back? There are a lot of men out there who strike back just out of instinct, not to mention the jerks who will hit you back just to teach you a lesson. If you go around hitting someone, fully expect to get hit back.
    Sandy1220

    Answer by Sandy1220 at 10:58 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • It's pregnancy hormones. I think most women feel like whacking their mate with a brick periodically but you just have to remember that it's wrong to actually strike a person.

    Have you looked into prenatal yoga classes? Sometimes physical vigor can help process rage feelings.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 11:09 PM on Dec. 2, 2010

  • I know many men who are ABUSED ........

    I do not approve, YOU need help .
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 12:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • my first marriage, we were young and I had post partum depression after our son was born, those aren't excuses, but just to explain. Anyways, I did hit him a few times, I'm not proud of it, but it happened. Something to think about, is that you are always in control, that's why you don't hit him in public or out with friends, when you feel like hitting him, walk away, I know it's not always easy, but just do it. oh and give him a time when you will be back. Sit him down when you guys aren't arguing and talk to him about it, tell him when you walk away you need some time and he needs to not follow you or try and continue the conversation after you call it off. GL, we ended up divorcing, and i'm older and more mature now and have a much easier time controlling my temper and actions (your frontal cortex, the part of your brain that's in charge of impluse control and decision making, isn't fully developed until your early 20's.
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 12:22 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I remember tossing a small light air pillow to my d/h and he was just into his 3rd beer. I'd intended to have this as a flirting thing, and he'd re toss it back to me, and smile, not so. I thought that he was just getting his nerves calmed after work, since he was a work-a-holic by nature, and by his momento to him self. I was actually looking for some sweet time attention, and he was such a dog at that, it took me years to see it's not about how we treat men, or what we see as flirty, but it's really a job to keep a marriage intact. I was going to re negotiate ways to get his attention, but he had already started to see a woman. He's not my type as a matter of fact, and it was then I saw how fragile life really is. I just pick my scenery now as to what is best to keep real.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • i completely get that urge that can come over you. dr. phil, i think, describes that feeling best when he compares it to road rage in his book the relationship rescue. when someone cuts you off on the road, all you can think is about running that car off the road. well when your spouse upsets or hurts you, pretty much all you wanna do is "run him off the road" or do whatever you can to hurt him back. i sometimes think omg i could just slap him! but the important thing to remember that it's just an impulse and we don't always have to act on all of our impulses. you should count to 10 and take deep breaths. back away from the situation if you think you're about to get physical. so yes, i've gotten the urge to be "abusive" but have never and would never act on it
    pmg1030

    Answer by pmg1030 at 6:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

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