I've only been married for two years. We had our baby before we got married, although we already had the wedding planned and booked before I even got pregnant - I have PCOS so I thought it would take a lot longer to get pregnant. Anyway so we did NOT get married because of having a baby, we were going to anyway.
I loved my husband a lot, he was always very sweet. Then when I got pregnant he was ecstatic and I stopped working because it was a high risk pregnancy. Then we had a baby to take care of, and he was under a lot more stress and started being angry all the time and it really wore me down. He got to where he wasn't affectionate at all anymore and we barely had sex. We went to counseling a few times but it didn't seem to do any good and then he switched employers and never found out the insurance information and whatnot for it.
So this past june I went to visit family for 5 weeks. It seemed to make him realize that we had problems we seriously need to fix. He's really been trying and doing a lot better with the anger issues and being more affectionate, but it's just not the same anymore on my end. I just don't feel like I love him anymore. He knows this, we talk about it. I don't know what to do. I care about him, I care what he thinks and feels. But my heart is really just not in it anymore. I don't feel the anticipation or excitement anymore. I don't feel butterflies when I see him. I'm happier when he's at work. He's not that one person that I just can't live without. He could leave and it wouldn't break my heart. He treats me well enough, and takes care of us. He's a good man, he doesn't hurt us, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, or stay out late. He goes to work and he comes home.
I appreciate that he's a good man, but it bothers me that I feel so distant. Most of the time I wonder if I'm even capable of loving at all anymore. I just feel empty, and I want there to be more. I want to make this work. I want to be in love with my husband and have a long happy marriage. But it's just not happening. Even when we have sex, it's good - but it's not like it used to be. It's not the hot and heavy make-out and foreplay sessions that left me panting in desire.
It's not like he doesn't try, because he does. Right now, it's all me. I don't know what to do to make myself FEEL again. How do I rekindle my own interest in my husband? Can anyone help me?
Answer by Austinsmom35 at 6:07 PM on Dec. 4, 2010
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