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3 Bumps

Asked dh about us

I sent my dh a message about us things are not feeling right with me getting worse over the past 2 days. He said well talk after the holidays. How do you cope waiting that long. It's making me sick. There is so much details I can give. One moment were find less than a month a go when he was out of town hunting I got wonderful text messages now I'm not getting I love u or bus when I leave

Answer Question
 
aus14

Asked by aus14 at 8:31 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 9 (309 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Waiting until after the holidays is not acceptable. Tell him that you need to talk now.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 8:32 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I agree with Scuba..waiting is only going to add to the tension. I also think there definitely is a problem if you have to try and communicate with him through messaging rather than simply asking him face to face. Communication is already way off track.
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:37 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • It seems to ominous to wait until after the holidays.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 8:39 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I agree. Open communication face to face is the only way to go.
    FierceMomBear

    Answer by FierceMomBear at 8:40 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You need to talk now...dragging it out only adds to the pain and torment.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:43 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I would love to talk but I have to tread light how to approach the matter not to make it worse I have always waited til he's ready. Face to face he's always at work and when he gets off it's his unwind time and no one talks during that. I don't like the waiting but I'm guessing don't want to ruine it for the family or he's trying to fig out what to do
    aus14

    Comment by aus14 (original poster) at 8:54 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • There should be no waiting when it comes to working out a relationship or marriage. It sounds like you two have terrible communication skills and that's one of the most important factors in a marriage. I would tell him up front there is no waiting, when he gets home from work we are having a conversation, unwind time should be the last thing on his mind when it comes to fixing your relationship. The longer it drags out, the worse it will be for you. It sounds like maybe he's avoiding talking because "let's wait until after the holidays to talk about our marriage" just seems like it's never going to happen.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:14 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Wow...you give him a lot of credit and consideration for someone that might just be setting you up for the disappointment of a lifetime. First of all...FUCK his unwind time! Secondly, if it's something bad...the family is going to be ruined anyway. Thirdly, women who have to "tread light" around their husband for fear of what they may do are usually women who are in an abusive situation. I'm not saying he beats you up (maybe he does) but it sounds controlling nonetheless.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 9:16 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • " would love to talk but I have to tread light how to approach the matter not to make it worse I have always waited til he's ready. Face to face he's always at work and when he gets off it's his unwind time and no one talks during that. I don't like the waiting but I'm guessing don't want to ruine it for the family or he's trying to fig out what to do"

    It sounds like an unhealthy, unbalanced relationship already. You should be able to approach your dh whenever you need to, not only when he is ready and the no talking until HE unwinds??? This isn't 1950. How you feel is just as important as he is.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 9:24 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • women who have to "tread light" around their husband for fear of what they may do are usually women who are in an abusive situation. I'm not saying he beats you up (maybe he does) but it sounds controlling nonetheless.


    I agree with this statement too!
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 9:25 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

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