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1st grade teacher overly critical of my child?

My daughter's teacher has been complaining about her behavior since the beginning of this school year. I was afraid that she had a serious behavioral problem, so I asked if the school counselor, who is a grad student in child psychology to evaluate her. She sat in the class a few times to see how she is behaving and she told me that she did not notice that she was having problems with her behavior at all. She thought she was behaving like a normal 6 yr old does and her behavior was not any worse than any of the other children. So, if my daughter is having a problem, then so are all of the other children. My daughter is otherwise doing very well, getting very good marks academically. The teacher always says that my daughter is very smart. She even said that she could get an academic achievement award except that she probably won't because her behavior is so bad. Does this sound fair?

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Asked by myrrha68 at 2:10 AM on Nov. 6, 2008 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • does she say specifically what your child does that she considers such bad behavior.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Maybe the behavior is only present during free time like recess or something, towards other children?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • It has been my experience that highly intelligent and/or gifted children are often singled out for ridicule by certain teachers due to clashes in personality.My 14(soon to be 15 in Dec.)year old son was in a "gifted" math class, and was the top reader AND speller of his second grade class. At conferences, his teacher herself informed me of these facts. Howeve, she as much as came out and told me she didn't like his personality, and that h wasn't one of her "favorites" I yanked him from public school. He is a highly talented musician,vocalist and draws better comic panels than many grown comic strip artists.


    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 2:35 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • (cont.) Same with my daughter Kerrie and her fourth grade teacher. The teacher actually admitted to me that she and Kerrie had a personality conflict--that they just clashed-- and that she didn't really like Kerrie. YES she came out and said those words to me!! I didn't pull Kerrie out until 7th grade, but she has become a multi-talented worship leader, and is married to a youth pastor.
    Teachers generally do not know how to deal with the high energy levels of gifted kids. If the square peg does not fit into the round hole, she is at a loss. No, these things are not fair, but all too common in the public education system.It'll all even out in the end.

    Answer by Aprilmorgans at 2:42 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • This teacher says that my daughters problems are that she will interrupt her while she is speaking, she talks too much to her classmates, she doesn't do as she is told right away and she doesn't complete her schoolwork in a timely manner. She tells me my daughter is very strong willed and just does whatever she wants to do. The school counselor observed that the class is very noisy. The class has 22 children, with a majority being boys. My daughter does have a lot of energy and she does like to get attention. She may be acting the way she does to get attention.

    Answer by myrrha68 at 10:11 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I think that you need to try and work with the teacher to come up with ways to keep your daughter busy. My middle child is very gifted as well and what I found was that sometimes he was bored in school. He would finish his work and then he would be looking for something to do. Now he is given a folder with extra papers in them or he can read if he is done first. This has worked great for him. The other thing that he does now is he helps the other kids if he is done and they need it.

    I think that you need to talk to your daughter and find out why she is talking out and class and interrupting the teacher. Not all children are going to get along with all teachers and sometimes you just have to let it be. I understand the need to protect our children, but sometimes it is better not to pull them out of a class. In the long run they will learn a valuable lesson by being in those classes.

    Good Luck

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 11:16 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • It sounds more like the teacher doesn't have control of the classroom. See if she can switch to a different classroom. Otherwise this whole year can effect her self esteem the way the teacher treats her in class. Does your daughter complain about the class at all? Have you gone unannounced and watched the class? I did this on days my son didn't know I was coming. I sat in an area so I couldn't be observed and watched everyone. It turned out his teacher (close to retirement age) was strong on reading and literature skills, but seemed to be lacking in other areas. Upon speaking with my son, I realized they had personality conflicts. He stayed in there the whole year, but afterward we ended up homeschooling. She made him feel dumb. He said she was an ignorant idiot who treated him like a baby.

    Answer by SusieD250 at 11:57 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

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