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3 Bumps

Am I allowed to kill my daughters dad, please?

So we've been together for a couple of years and were very close for about 5 before that (a sort of lovers to friends thing). Our daughter is 9 months old. A few weeks ago I happened to look through his phone and found texts to and from a certain girl with her saying things like 'I'll ring your house phone in a bit' and 'I won't let distance come between us' and him saying 'We'll have to go to a hotel to have time alone'. I woke him up cussing and throwing the phone at him and he said he met her at a club but he hadn't physically cheated and they never ended up going to a hotel and they hadnt spoke for a month or so. After a couple of days of arguing I let it go and tried to make him happier at home.

So he used my phone the other day and text someone saying he'll be there in 30min, and had deleted what he'd sent before that. I found on his phone texts from the same number saying things like 'Good morning, and 'What do you want for xmas' and him texting her like 'I hope u slept well'. He told me it was the same girl as before. I cussed and cussed and rang her but she didnt answer and then text me like 'ask him' when I said tell me how long you have been sleeping with him, since he told me he hadn't but I figured that was rubbish. She said he told her he wasnt seeing anyone, obviously, and I should ask him. So I come back in the room where he was only to find he had text her saying 'baby mums gonna ring you ignore it' and 'she seen texts lol'.

I want to kill this bitch. She is so lucky he will not tell me where she lives. I want to mess him up so bad he is so lucky he is my daughters father or I think I would kill him too. I want to believe that he hasn't slept with her and that he'll stop talking to her but thats what I believed the last time and he done it again.
How can I make him stop or atleast admit he doesnt want to be with me and be man enough to say it. This is not the guy I was friends with years ago nor the guy I fell in love with. :( I'm going crazy, and he just acts like everythings normal because he 'didn't cheat'. What to do?


Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Break his phone & kick him out of the house. That's what i would do. He would see all his crap on the road when he came home. The locks would be changed & he would be screwed. I refuse to be with someone who cannot give me his all & treats me like an idiot by thinking he can get away with being a total jerk.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 8:54 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Cut your losses babe. Do what the first pp said and move on....he is so not worth it. Let him go be with the bitch. He obviously isn't worth your time or your DD's. Honestly, in your entire post, no where did I read you saying that you still love him. He's changed and yeah maybe he will change back, but you don't want someone like that. You have a baby!! Give her the stability you BOTH need - even if it's just the two of you it will be FAR BETTER than the shit you have now!!
    ~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:01 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • If the things you say to him don't make him want to change his ways he isn't going to change or stop seeing/texting her. Kick him to the curb. You and your dd don't need that in your life.

    Answer by sweetpea1217 at 9:00 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I think you have every right to be pissed off. I know I would be. And to be honest, you can't be mad at the girl. Sure, you can be mad at her, but in the end, he's the one that is cheating on you. He's the one to be pissed off at the most. And I see how you said you want him to admit he doesn't want to be with you. I know it may hurt, but obviously if he's texting another woman and talking about being with her, he may have already lost interest. I can't really say what I'd do since I've never been in a situation like this. But of course, you do need to put your daughter's needs first but don't stay in an unhealthy, unwanted relationship just for the sake of your child. That's not fair to you. It seems like he thinks it's all a joke with the way he wrote, "she seen texts lol." He sounds like a very immature asshole.

    Answer by poptart0325 at 8:55 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I'd kick him out - when he goes to work or goes out just pack up his stuff and put it outside. When he sees it all outside he'll figure it out. Oh yea and while you're at it change the locks. With everything going on just make sure to keep things as normal and routine as you can for your DD. As hard as this is on you it's going to be hard for your DD too. Your DD will feel the changes as well, so give her a little attention and loving. Forget him and focus on her. Good Luck!

    Answer by Jessica45 at 9:07 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I am so so sorry you are going through this!! It sucks.. I have been here too!! I saw texts on my ex's phone from a girl saying "I'll be there at 9 ok?".. "Please be there when I get there".. And then she would post things on her facebook about things they did together.. It really hurts.. Sometimes I tried to think logically about the other girls he cheated with---maybe he didn't tell them he had a girlfriend or something.. but when you know for sure that they do know.. it just really pisses you off!! I know what you're going through. And honestly in my situation, he never ever changed. He cheated the entire time. I kicked him to the curb & I am much happier now! You shouldn't have to try to make him happier just because he is straying.. Make yourself happy.. & your daughter! Good luck!♥

    Answer by SuperrMommyy at 9:27 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • you need to decide. Do you want him no matter what or are you ready to move on without him. He is not ready to be with just you. It is not up to the other woman. If it weren't her it would probably be someone else. You have to deal with him. It sounds like he is a cheater and if that is okay with you let it go. If it is not okay with you let him go.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Oh yes, do not kill anyone. do not even talk or write about it. It will come back to haunt you.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:03 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I'm so sorry he has behaved this way, however, it is time for you to break away from this man. He obviously has no respect for you or for your child to be acting in such a manner. Whether or not he slept with her is besides the point. He is talking to her and telling her intimate things that should only be said to you. If he has no respect now, he won't have it later either. You and your child deserve better than that and you should not believe that it alright to be treated this way. Best of luck~

    Answer by ditchen4 at 10:52 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Its clear that you dont want to leave this man because yall have a daughter together....arguing with him and her is only going to make you upset even more and since you guys have already been down this road once then try something different. Stop checking his phone and dont let him use yours....if he wants to sleep around with silly chicks then let him do him but your daughter needs her father regardless of what kind of man he is to you. When a woman is silent and nice to her man even when he has done her wrong on many occassion then that all that women needs to do....because while you are being silent and nice he is living in miserable pain because he does not know what is about to go down. This goes to all the ladies.....STOP ARGUING WITH THESE MEN AND CHECKING THEIR PHONES....FOCUS ON YOU AND YOUR CHILD AND I GURANTEED THAT MAN WILL GET THE PICTURE ONE DAY AND HIS ATTITDUE WILL CHANGE...WE CANT CHANGE THEM.....

    Answer by mom42107 at 12:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2010