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How do u disapline ur child?

I have a 4 year old and he backs talk me, does what he wants, tells me "mommy I told u to do that". I have tried everything. But when he goes to his dads on the weekends his dad said that he is good when he goes over there. His dad said that he lies sometimes but that is it. And also when he is at school that say that he does what he is suppose to do. can somebody please help me.

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Babygirl121307

Asked by Babygirl121307 at 10:39 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 7 (177 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I take rights away.

    Kids treat you how you allow them to treat you. You taught him that he can get away with back talk. Now you need to teach him that he cannot get away with it. You don't need to spank or even get angry. Just take rights away. Like video games, play dates, TV, certain toys. And remind him why he got them taken away. Leverage works wonders on kids, especially if you use something they absolutely LOVE.

    Kids feed off of any attention they get regardless if it's negative or positive. If you ignor him, he will learn that his behavior does not get a reaction.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:45 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • My 5 year old acts similar. He doesn't care if we take things away. I even took every toy out of his room once. He's been grounded. He gets video games taken away, goes to bed early, and yes spanked. It's been 5 years and I have yet to find his 'currency'...like with potty training, his was stickers, I never did find his brothers reward currency...time outs work with his brother as a punishment not with the 5 year old. I know the reward but there has to be a punishment for when he misbehaves also.
    He's wonderful at school, I get compliments on his behavior all the time from his teacher. I joke that at least he behaves in public so we look like awesome parents.
    goorob

    Answer by goorob at 10:51 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I have tried everything. I have took his toys out of his room and made him sit n his room for 5 mins and think about what he done, took the t.v away, made him sit down on the couch and not watch t.v, I have told him that he cant go to his dads for the weekend, when we go to the store nd he said that he wants a toy and I tell him no and why he dont get it. His teacher calls me all the time and said how good that he is in school.
    Babygirl121307

    Comment by Babygirl121307 (original poster) at 11:18 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • We used to take away THE most important thing that our boys had for an appropriate length of time as punishments. It worked well for us. Do not threaten something that you will not follow through on. For example, saying he can not go to his dad's. If you will not really take that away he knows it and knows you will not follow through on that. Also, are you spending enough one on one time with him and praising him when he does things right? Lots of times kids go for negative attention when they do not get enough positive attention.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 12:57 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Be consistent with the discipline. When he back talks warn him that's not ok and correct how he should talk or ask for something. Time outs if it keeps up, take away toys, etc but be consistent!
    monshine2

    Answer by monshine2 at 6:38 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I generally use time-out, but I also take things away if necessary.

    I think I do time-outs a bit differently than other people, but this is the way I've found to be most effective for us.

    (example ahead).

    Let's say my son threw a toy across the room. Since throwing toys isn't allowed, I would give him a warning to stop. If he did it again, he goes to time-out, sits there a few minutes, then sorry, hugs and kisses. After that, I ask him "Do you know why I put you in time-out?" After he answers, I ask him "And what do you think is going to happen if you do it again?" After he answers that, we're done and we go back to our crazy lives.
    makelineerror

    Answer by makelineerror at 5:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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