Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

help a woman out? depression and Husbands

My husband does not understand why or how I could be be depressed with staying home alllll the time with both kids. He says its a vacation and "easy".. I mean really. he makes me feel like what I do is not important or even "needed" So feeding the kids snt a "need" playing with them, CLEANING, doing HIS laundry... I mean its JUSTSOOOOOOO easy right? So why cant he do it? I have never been away from both kids longer than 5 hours.. AANNND its at NIGHT when they are in bed... He goes snowboarding in thw winter and Camping in the summer. I have NO hobbies and when he goes I ask him what i should do and he said just clean/do laundry.. So I am supposed to do my day to day stuff and call that a hobby??? I want to go back to school finish my GED. the classes are on saturday afternoons. his response "If i get back on time" orr the one that pissed me offmroe than tht was cant you just go during the summer?? BUT yet he wants me to get a job.... Kinda need the GED FIRST dont ya think!! And no we dont have the mney for babysitters or daycare. How could I NOT be depressed. any advice on what to do/say i would be very appreciative! Thank you!

Answer Question
 
Dork4Fish

Asked by Dork4Fish at 10:49 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,099 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I would say sign up for the class and tell him he is taking care of the children. But, it sounds like he is not responsible enough and you are not strong enough. So I do not know. Something has got to give.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 10:52 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • He sounds a little selfish and self centered to me. Hon, you have to make your own happiness, no one can do it for you, Start with baby steps and go from there. Do what ever it is you need to do, I don't know the internal problems in your home, but it seems to me someone has to change his neanderthal way of thinking for starters.......GL

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 10:54 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Ah, a dumb, clueless, selfish husband. He needs a 2x4 reminder that those are his children and it is his house also!!!!

    Taking time for himself and not allowing you time for yourself. He needs a clue. You don't have money for a sitter or daycare but he can go snowboarding and camping......that's money that could and should be going towards your finishing your GED!

    Tell him if he wants you to get a job, you'll be glad to entertain that as soon as he brings his butt home for you to finish your GED. Remember that you are NOT his maid and if necessary STOP doing his laundry and only feed the kids.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 10:56 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Yes, sign up for a class, don't ask him tell him. I need you to watch the kids-uhhhh I hate saying that especially to the dad....

    but tell him you are going back to school. He will learn how to deal with the kids, he won't hurt them he is the dad for goodness sakes. Be strong but not mean just say you feel it is time you get your foot out the door a little so by the time the kids start school you can start working again..

    I left their father thinking that is what I wanted, instead of telling him I would ask, trust me we both realize that not saying any thing and holding it in could cause major problems for the family. We are working on getting back together, it has only been 6 months don't let your loneliness, sadness and aggravations stem to my extent. I love him and he is good but I needed to realize. A man will get away with what you let him get away with. You go lady... Take care of you too... Good luck!!!!!
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:56 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You are not in a relationship, but a dictatorship. I would tell him his behavior is a total deal breaker. This is your life too! You need to get your education and a job if you want one. He needs to be a FATHER not a SPERM DONNER. If he won't change, I would leave him. You only get one life.

    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:59 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I think you have to put you foot down and let him know that you are going to school and he is watching the kids. You have to look out for your future and your sanity. It is CRAZY to be with the kids 24/7, please I don't want to bash anyone but it is really hard to be at home with kids all day long and not having any hobbies. You need to something for you, if you want to start by having at least 1 hour of ME-time a day, then tell him that your are going to be out for that hour, so he'd better watch the kids. I wish you the best, and hope everything works out for you.
    bratgirln1

    Answer by bratgirln1 at 12:32 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • GET A HOBBY, neglect the house - not the kids... if he doesnt value how you clean - make him miss it! and of course you are depressed - you need hobbies and friends so start going out and finding some!
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:58 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN