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2 Bumps

Too young to be an adult???

I know this is a touchy subject, but please no bashing, just looking for your opinion. I know everyone's differs, and I welcome opinions different than my own, just please no bashing.

My father was always the "enforcer". We knew we couldn't break the rules whenever he was around. He never really spanked us like he did my older siblings, but just had this "look". I know my parents got more leniant over the years. Each child didn't have it quite as tough as the one before. Since my mother passed away last year, it seems as though my father has lost his, idk, zip. My two younger sisters are really taking advantage of that. My 17 yo sister moved her bf into my dad's home and just blatantly disobeys his continuously. My fiance and I moved in to help out my dad as well as ourselves. Shortly after we discovered we were expecting our second child, my sister told us she was expecting also. Now as of today they have only been together 7 months. My sister is 8 weeks pregnant. Since they have been together they fight ALOT. She was always calling and telling us how he has pictures of all these girls, They could never get along. She was always giving him the silent treatment for some reason or other. Since I have lived here, she has done nothing but treat him like crap. She belittles him and tells him what he can not do. Constantly kicks him out of their room, which conveniently becomes her room. Unless its payday, then she's happy. Neither of my two younger sisters have ever really had many responsibilities in my opinion, though if you ask them they treated like slaves. IMO I think she is way too young for the "adult" responsibilities of marriage and a baby. Yes they are planning to marry after the baby is born. I know alot of teens who are amazing parents, and a lot of adults who are too immature to be parents. So it's not her age that makes me wonder about the future, but her attitude. We have 20 neices and nephews and she can not handle babysitting, especially the younger ones, for longer than an hour or two. I don't know if she realizes the hurdles lying ahead of her.

Am I jumping the gun here? Or should I invite her to some of my parenting classes. There's still so much I know I have to learn. I think she could benefit from such things also.

Answer Question
 
ModernMommie

Asked by ModernMommie at 10:56 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 8 (219 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • She needs to take parenting classes.

    Very important! make them respect your father, they can not grow up without knowing how to respect.


    she needs to be told " just because you can it does not mean you should"
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:05 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • invite her to the classes. She may be a brat now, but maybe this baby will help her see things in a new light. It might even take a few years, but sometimes having a baby will help some see the world differently. Hopefully, it will teach her that life is not just about her.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:05 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Wow this kinda seems all over the place but bottom line she is gonna be a momma now no matter what so yeah I would say try to help her be ready for what is coming. As for everything else with the boyfriend and your dad I don't know.
    Raindew

    Answer by Raindew at 11:07 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • @Raindew - LoL! I realized after I posted it, that it was kinda scattered. It took me like 30 mins to post, my DD is extremely active today since she learned how to stand behind the ride on toys and push them into everything. I kept forgetting what I meant to write.
    Sorry if its hard to read or understand.
    ModernMommie

    Comment by ModernMommie (original poster) at 11:11 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I think inviting her to some of your parenting classes is a great idea! you can't change or control the situation but you can try to make it as good as possible, taking her with you, buying parenting books and offering to let her borrow them are all ways you can do that. GL
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 11:18 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Well, at this point it doesn't matter whether or not she is ready for the responsibilty. She IS going to be a parent so I think that the more that you can teach her the better. The parenting classed are a great idea. I know it is probably frustrating to deal with but I think that it is important that you try to encourage her and direct her in a way that she is accepting of your advice the better. So, telling her she is too immature is not the way to help her. Just try to work with her on things that will help in the future. GL
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Thank you all. We have a class soon. They are starting with the pregnancy, delivery process this week. I think it will be helpful. Im certain shes as frightened as I am too. I think I'll let her know she can invite her bf too. Maybe doing something together so that they both know this is really happening might help.

    Again, thank you all for your opinions.
    ModernMommie

    Comment by ModernMommie (original poster) at 11:23 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Im 16 and pregnant also getting married buuuut the problem here is they are not right for each other if she treats him like that and also she must make strides in her maturity in order to be a mother.
    this is difficult in my opinion.1st have her read some parenting books then classes also they would benifit with some pre-marital counceling
    MaybeMommy1994

    Answer by MaybeMommy1994 at 11:29 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Invite her to classes, she will never learn without knowing what to expect. The father needs to go too, they BOTH made the baby not just her. Both need to take responsibility!
    lovebeingamom26

    Answer by lovebeingamom26 at 10:42 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

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