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How would u deal with ur mother?

Let me start off say that I love my mother, But the things that she has done to me is I dont know. My mother had nothing to do with me from the time that I was born. They told her that I was a boy and then when I can out I was a girl. All she wanted was a boy and a girl. She sent me to my sister for her to take care of me and then when my sister could not take care of me my mother would not take me back. Then when I was 16 my 1st love called and ask if I wanted to come live with him and he lived in Tenn and I lived in Fla. I asked my mother and she said pack ur stuff and go and she told everybody that I ran away. Then when I called her and told her that I was pregnant with her first grandchild that is when she started wanted anything to do with me. everytime that I called my mother to come get me she would. She did not like the guys I was with but he beat on me all the time and his mother would be the same way. Then one day my son was put in the hospital for 2 weeks and I was at the hospital with my son and then I get a call at the hospital that social service was there and they was worried about my daughter have baby shakin so they check her and she was fine and then I called my mother and asked her if she called them on me and she said yes that she did. So then I moved up to Ky. I was only up here 2 months and they took my kids from me because there dad called and said that I was not taking care of my kids. When we went to court my mother came up here 2 times to try and get my kids. Then I found the man of my dreams and I have been with him for 3 years he take care of me and my youngest son even though he is not his. But now that I am in Ky and have a man that takes care of me she dont want anything to do with me. The only time she calls me is when she is drunk or having something to do with her medical or high on drugs. But she will call me sister and ask her if she needs anything for her or the kids but she wont call me and ask me that. Can somebody please help me on how to dal with this.

Answer Question
 
Babygirl121307

Asked by Babygirl121307 at 11:08 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 7 (177 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You don't. You let her go...in mind and in body. She cared when it was convenient for her to care. Why should you try so hard for get the attention and affection from someone that obviously does not care enough to care back? Mom or not...she is not a good thing to have in your life.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:15 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • so many complicated twists and turns in these questions today. I say just concentrate on getting your kids and taking good care of them and not all the other drama in your life . Step up and be the mom she wasn't.
    Raindew

    Answer by Raindew at 11:15 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • i would have nothing to do with her because she is causing u alot of grief and is toxic. she had your kids taken away. i would not want that type of person in my life or my kids lives. you do not have to answer her calls. even though she gave birth to u that doesn't mean you have to continue having such poison in your life.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 11:16 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • First of all from something you said...is it safe to say that she is an alcoholic because that would explain a shit load of stuff. The majority of alcoholics (I'm talking from my own personal experience, I'm four years sober now) have mental issues and they use alcohol to self medicate. Anyhow, as I was saying...a lot of her behavior is that of a typical alcoholic or someone that is mentally imbalanced. Until (if ever) she gets help, this is how it's going to be for you and her. I can't tell you what to do about it, the only thing I can tell you is that if you don't want to be hurt by it, don't deal with her. It sounds harsh but that's just the way it has to be because she's not going to ever see what she does to you. Oh and when she calls you when shes drunk...the moment you notice tell her "hold on...do me a favor and call me when your sober"...click.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:17 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I do not think I'd be dealing with a mother like that...your better off withp\out her and all that drama. I have a mom that I basiucally do not talk to because she is unstable and pure drama! She was better than your mom with me as a kid so if she was like that I would run and not look back.
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • CUT HER OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

    Just because she is you mother YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HER UGLYNESS. She has never been a mother to you and can not be a good grandmother, Don't waste you time.
    I'm saving a lot of money, you do not have to get therapy, they will tell you to cut her off.

    I had to cut people out my life and it does feel better.

    Put your new love and kids first and only think about them. Don't waste your time with hateful people, Life is to short!!
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 11:32 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Wow, and I thought my mom was bad. I only speak to mine on Mother's Day and our birthdays and she has nothing to do with my kids. Maybe that kind of relationship would work for you. It saves alot of drama and psych bills for the kids. You can't expect her to change, so you have to find a way to keep her from destroying your life completely.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 12:17 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

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