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3 Bumps

I'm 24 years old and pregnant with my second child.. My first will be one on Jan. 16, and the new baby is due Jan. 31st, My husband wants me to have my tubes tied when I go in for this C Section, but I have always wanted a large family. He actually got so mad at me for saying no, that he went and stayed on the couch. Hes only 23 and I dont think its right to make such a big decision so early in life.. What should I do or say to get him to realize I just can't do that?

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MommaKayleigh1

Asked by MommaKayleigh1 at 11:19 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Pregnancy

Level 4 (32 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • well actually my hubby told me the same thing, but hes going on 30 im going on 24 and i told him its my body and if i dnt wanna then i wnt! there are other precautions that can be taken until we decide on another one or not...
    TatymMommi

    Answer by TatymMommi at 11:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Tell him he needs to get fixed and see how he likes it.
    iluvmykidsxoxo

    Answer by iluvmykidsxoxo at 11:21 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Unfortunately, that's something that even if you "think" you want a big family, the "thinking" can change once you start having children. If that is his decision, you can't "make him realize" anything. You both just have different wants. That's not his fault, nor yours. Once I had one child, I didn't even know if I wanted a second. After the second there was no way in heck I wanted another... but that's my choice. I am sorry, but it's something you two are going to have to agree on.
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:22 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • when mine wanted me to tie my tubes I told him no I wasn't ready but you can get a vasectomy. We had 2 back to back I was 26. He never got the vasectomy till we had one more then he did...I never wanted more than 3 so now we are done! I had 3 so we fought about that too he wanted me to get my tubes tied and its easier for the man. If he doesn't want a big family and you do you guys are going to have conflicts....I can't say I blame him today with the economy. WHen I had our 3rd the economy crashed right after I was like OMG....
    hill2

    Answer by hill2 at 11:23 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Tell him that if it's that big an issue for HIM then HE needs to get a vasectomy...PERIOD!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:23 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • i agree with iluvmykidsxoxo, if hes the one that wants no more kids he needs to take the necessary precautions
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 11:23 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Getting YOUR tubes tied is YOUR decision. The size of your family is something that needs to be agreed upon by you and your husband.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 11:24 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Ask him to consider birth control for awhile and revisit the conversation later. I always tell my SO we will revisit this convo later, if we cant seem to agree on something.
    bellsandheels

    Answer by bellsandheels at 11:24 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • While I did get my tubes tied when my 3rd was born (on my 36th birthday), it was a JOINT decision to do so as BOTH my hubs and I felt that baby #3 would complete our family and we BOTH decided no more. The number of children you have and what birth control methods to use is something that BOTH partners should agree on, not ONE person telling the other what to do. It is YOUR body, and if you don't want your tubes tied, don't do it. If he does not want more kids then tell him HE should get snipped!! (maybe if the shoe is on the other foot he will see what an ass he was when he demanded you get 'snipped')
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • If you don't want to have it done, don't do it. Make him an appointment for a vasectomy, tell him when it is and if he says no....well he still sleeps on the couch because you should have the bed! lol Honestly, it is understandable that he has a genuine feeling that he is done having kids. There is nothing wrong with that. However, you are both young and you might change your minds, he might not. My hubby said two was it, I wasn't so sure and now we have our third. Now I feel like we are done!! =) Hold off on it if it does not feel right!
    khedy

    Answer by khedy at 11:32 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

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