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Confused on child custody with an ex

My ex gets the kids every Sun, Mon, Tues on his days off. He works different hours and he says he has to work 3 jobs to pay me child support (which is 400.00 a month on 2 kids). He is constantly calling me to pick the kids up early, and will only give me a day notice. My question is, what should I do during this because I always make my plans around his visitation so when the kids are with him I make appointments, plans, etc. Everytime he has asked me to pick the kids up early, I have canceled and dropped everything to pick them up. For instance, this past Monday, he text me to tell me I needed to pick the kids up Tuesday night, instead of Wed (usually he brings the youngest one home Wed morning and I get the oldest one after school on Wed) because he needed to go to the uniform shop. When he does have the kids, his mother usually has them bc he says he has to work at his other jobs. I'm confused on how to handle this situation, the only thing I'm asking him to do is if I need to pick the kids up early, or if he isn't getting the kids to let me know ahead of time instead of the night before so I can adjust my schedule. I feel like I am always dropping everything to accommodate him because I don't want my kids to suffer, but this is his visitation??

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momofboygirl2

Asked by momofboygirl2 at 11:24 AM on Dec. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • Keep the kids. The kids are the one's that are suffering. Tell him when he has the time to come and get the kids. Working 3 jobs just to make $400 payment? Yeah right. He's spending he's money on something else. Keep the kids from him until he can get he's priorities in order.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:27 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Your right...you need to tell him that if the current visitation schedule is to liberal for him, then you need to go back to court and have them revamp it so there will be no miscommunciations or misunderstandings between you two about what does and does not need to be done. And he's only paying $400 for the both of them? WTF! You got jipped cuz it's usually $100 per week per child.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 11:28 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I just would like for him to let me know a week in advance on what days he will have the kids. I feel like I am planning my life around his
    momofboygirl2

    Comment by momofboygirl2 (original poster) at 11:28 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • He acts like he is paying me thousands of dollars, but 400 is really good IMO. He wants me to do 50/50 custody bc he says he wouldn't have to pay child support then, and he would get to see his kids more.
    momofboygirl2

    Comment by momofboygirl2 (original poster) at 11:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • twll him that. tell him youre tired of dropping things in your life just so he can go on living his when he's suppose to have HIS kids
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I have told him that, but he doesn't care apparently. He says I'm selfish and always have things to do when it comes to the kids. It's not that at all, it's that I make my appointments, plans, etc. for when he has the kids so I'm not having to find a sitter when i have them on my time, and I can spend time with them.
    momofboygirl2

    Comment by momofboygirl2 (original poster) at 11:31 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You should go back to court. Any judge will tell him that this is unexceptable and he will not get 50/50
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 11:41 AM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • should I make him keep the kids on his days, or drop everything and go get them when he needs/wants me to?
    momofboygirl2

    Comment by momofboygirl2 (original poster) at 12:00 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • 50/50 custody does not get him out of support, and support is based on income, so if he is working 3 jobs, then he should probably be paying more than $400 a month. You need to see a judge about that and get an order for visitation that is written in stone.
    sweet29mom

    Answer by sweet29mom at 12:02 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • there is a court order that is written in stone for the visitation. we done all that when i got divorced.
    momofboygirl2

    Comment by momofboygirl2 (original poster) at 12:03 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

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