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2 Bumps

My husband is texting a female friend 30-40 times a day. He says she is just a friend, but I am hurt. Is texting a form of infedelity?

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sdarby

Asked by sdarby at 1:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • Texting a 'friend everyday isn't to unusual...texting anyone 30-40 tims a day is a big red waving flag to me. I can't say it is infidelity..but it certainly is suspicious. My very BFF and I don't text anywhere near that much in a day.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:20 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I dont believe texting is cheating however with that many texts I would definately think he is having an affair with this lady. Texting isnt the only thing going on.
    SWEETPEAS3MOM

    Answer by SWEETPEAS3MOM at 1:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I would have a serious problem with 30-40 times a day. My DH has texted female friends before, but exchanged maybe 5 texts between the two. I would have to sit down with him and have a conversation regarding these messages.
    Sharell8710

    Answer by Sharell8710 at 1:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Yea I would be very upset and don't think its right for him to be communicating so much with her.
    Avon_Girlie

    Answer by Avon_Girlie at 1:24 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Even if there is nothing sexual that is time he could be spending talking to or communicating with you. Is he willing to let you read the texts? I just don't know what they could talk about so much every day. When the DH wants to go out with the guys I understand that they bring something to the table I can't - as in a love of wings, beer and sports, I suppose. But if he wanted to be so close to another woman I wouldn't understand what she had to offer that I couldn't provide. I guess the bottom line is not whether or not it is infidelity, but whether or not it bothers you. Clearly it does, and if he knows this and refuses to reach a compromise you can both live with then he isn't making your needs a priority and that is never good in a marriage.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 1:24 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • That many times is a bit to much just to be a friend
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 1:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I think you know what is going on.More to this than words between them.Nip this in the bud.Or tell him to go to her and not come back.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 1:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I would have a major problem with this. MAJOR.

    Do you know what the messages say?
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 1:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • 30-40?

    First: how do you know this?

    Do you often find yourself going into the kitchen and finding sharp things to poke under your fingernails?

    Tell me about the last time you put a lot of effort into expressing your appreciation for your mate...saying thank you, making his favourite dinner, acting like he wasn't bolted to your life with no choice but to hang around no matter how you treat him or ignore him...

    While you're busy thinking about what you can feel bad about, I would suggest you'll get more and better misery from watching broadcast news. Perhaps you could take up watching soap operas?

    Maybe you could volunteer at hospice?

    Or do something you enjoy and think is a valuable use of your life?
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 1:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • it would be very suspicious to me, only because i had the same thing happen to me (except i counted SEVENTY FIVE messages in ONE day) so yes even at 30-40 i would be scratching my head. if he won't let you read them, gets overly upset or defensive when you bring up the subject then i would definitely be having a conversation with him.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:28 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

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