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What are his rights?

My son's bio-father (we call him sperm donor) decided he wants to take him for the first time after almost 4 months. He doesn't pay child support and hasn't filed for custody. If I have reason to feel uncomfortable leaving my ds with him do I have to? I suggested that we meet somewhere and he can visit him while I'm there but he says thats awkward and he wants me to drive him to his house (an hour away) and then leave him there and pick him up later. He won't agree to meet me somewhere and I don't feel comfortable leaving my ds with him yet. Do I have to let him take him? I live in CT.


Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 AM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I live in CT as well.. I hope I can help. First of all, did he sign the birth certificate?? If he did then he has the right to see his son and you can't deny it to him, but you can make him come to you or meet somewhere. If you are uncomfortable leaving your child alone with him, I would suggest going to your local family courthouse and requesting a visitation hearing. The judge will determine where when and with who the father can see the child.
    If the guy didn't sign the birth certificate then he has no rights to the child. He must establish paternity before any rights are given to him. That means HE must go to the courthouse and petition the court for visitation.. and then they will do a DNA test.
    We dealt with this with both my nephew and niece.. if you need any more help, I'm pretty familiar with the system in Hartford, feel free to PM me

    Answer by kristal2146 at 9:56 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Take it court, it's your best bet.

    Answer by Christinemg0813 at 7:54 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I would so no since he has never paid child support, but I'm not sure if that differs by state. Is he listed on the birth certificate? If not, then I'd be pretty darn positive it'd be a no until he could prove he is the biological father. I would only do what is comfortable with you. If you aren't comfortable with leaving your son with him alone, then DO NOT do it until he gets himself a court order...IMHO.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:58 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • If he is listed as the father on the birth certificate there is nothing you can do. If he wants to see him, he will. I had a similar situation with my sons SD as well. Im sure he will see him a couple times then thats it. Thats what his SD did. Only because his mom was on his ass, but i have rules and they follow them. but i def agree with christinemg take him to court. Just watch out cuz if you do that, he might get joint custody. I took my sons SD for child support here in PA you have to fill out sepreate forms for diffrent things so we didnt go through the custody thing. I dont want him having granted days to take him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:24 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Unfortunately, you are not allowed to withold visits due to lack of child support payments.  You said he hasn't filed for custody, does that mean you haven't established support payments or visit times through the court?  In that case, you can do what you want until he takes you to court. I would demand he meet you at least halfway, because that's only fair.  Since it's been so long since the last visit, I would also insist that the visit be limited to a supervised, neutral-location visit for the first time or two, then gradually working up to more time.  I think in some states you can also insist on no overnights until they are at least 1.


    Answer by mamapotter at 8:30 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Look up the CT state law on parental rights, Social Services is another good sourse. File for child support. Stick to your gut- if you do not feel comfortable leaving your child with his bio-father, tell him either meet at an agreeable place, or take you to court.

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 8:45 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I suggest taking this case to court and get a legal document about what his rights are. I come from a split home and my mom has always told me that was the best thing she did was take the case to court. I know it costs to do that but in the long run, what's more important, your child's well being or the money you'll save but not know if the "sperm donor" will harm the child. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but I suggest a court hearing for custody or visitation rights.

    Answer by katespring at 3:47 PM on Nov. 6, 2008