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I'm not sure what to do...

Let me give you ladies a brief history of each guy...

Andres is my ex. We were together 4 years. We had a baby together. He didn't always treat me right...we fought all the time and he got too comfortable with me and stopped telling me he loved me and eventually started using dating sites and stuff so we split up. We've been split up for a year. Yesterday he moved back to El Salvador because he says that he has "nothing here," pretty much broke my heart. I loved him but we just weren't good for each other. He wants me to come and be with him in El Salvador someday and we both know that's not going to happen...I guess it's just his way of not being able to let go.

Jason is this guy I met a few weeks ago. He likes me a lot and he treats me very nicely. He is also very understanding of the fact that I want to take things slow. He bought me flowers and has taken me on 3 dates...dinner and museum and stuff like that. He's very nice. He's just not really the type I'd go for normally physically...he's almost the exact opposite. I don't think he's ugly..but at the same time I'm not super attracted to him either but looks aren't everything and I'm thinking that in time when/if I develop stronger feelings that won't matter anyway and he'll become attractive to me.

My problem is...last night I stayed at his house with him and I drank a lot. It was stupid but I was super depressed (don't get the wrong idea, I don't drink hardly EVER) and my ex called me from Guatemala to tell me he made it and that made things a little awkward. Well I ended up drunkely throwing myself at him and now I'm feeling really weird about it. I've been feeling uneasy all day. I don't think it's anything he did.

Do you ladies think that maybe as I get to know him better and start to get used to the idea that I will never see my ex again, the weirdness will go away? Should I tell the guy to just forget it? I'm torn...he's really nice and I think I like him...I just feel so weird today, I don't even know what it is that I'm feeling.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Sounds like youre rebounding. Whether you just broke up with the ex or not you are finding comfort with someone else. And it seems to be for the wrong reason. Id suggest cutting it off with this guy and being a friend instead of a companion. You need to be happy with yourself and your life before you take someone elses on. Sounds like if your questioning things so much youre just too confused and not ready. GL

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:25 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • take your time and heal...i know that loneilness and the thoughts can be overwhelming but find something you enjoy, i am also dealing with a break up of 10 years and usually i rebound and have guy friends but this time i am thats out of the questions. sooo i am going to the libaray, getting some books, buying me another pen and pad and spending a lil time with family. I am going to try to stay busy and positive because going back is not an option and moving forward with someone never really helped me mend my broken heart. Good luck.

    Answer by Onenamillion at 5:30 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I think you need some anon time. Ha ha! IDK what your name it! Seriously though. You are sad, and, like you said, don't know what or how you feel. I think you are confusing yourself, and confusing this guy. I hope you aren't confusing your kiddo, too. But, if you keep seeing this guy, it will only make matters worse. Maybe cut things off for now, romantically. If he's really a nice guy, he will understand. But you need to take some time for yourself. I think had you not thrown yourself at him, things would be ok. know. You do deserve to be treated well, to be taken out and treated like a princess. But, right now, you need to heal your heart. Ya know?

    Answer by Raine2001 at 5:35 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I'm not a man, so can't say that I'd do anything different... but I like to think that my hubby would have never have had sex with me the first time with me drunk... I don't think a real man would.

    maybe you should take some time and focus on your child, and you and let your heart heal before you date anyone at all? If I were you, it would be my luck in a few weeks to discover that I'm now pregnant with someone's baby that I'd just known a few weeks... I'm not judging you on that, just saying that with my luck that's what would happen.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:43 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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