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3 Bumps

Am I being to harsh?

I just asked my Son to come to the table for supper, he had told me no! I had said that he needed to join the family for supper out of respect, He again told me no and that he was sick and tired of me making him respect everything, hes almost 18 years old and I needed to stop telling him what to do. So I in return told him to give me his cell phone, he said No so I called and had it temporarily disconnected it. I also removed his accsess to the wireless internet so he can no longer play his XBOX, online games orwatch netflix. Part of me thinks its a little harsh but then again he is almost 18 like he says and maybe he needs to get a job to pay for those luxuries that I demand respect for. What do you all think?


Asked by hodgkinrus6 at 8:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 13 (1,047 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • Good for you! My sons were almost 18, 19 1/2 (repeated the 1st grade), almost 20 (he started K at 7 due to health issues) & 18 1/2 when they graduated from high school and let me tell you, until they graduated from high school they knew that they could still be grounded if they didn't follow our rules. Our older 2 didn't have cell phones since they are 23 and 24 and there were no affordable cell phones when they were teens but our younger 2 (who are 20 and 19) did have cell phones and if they had told us no when being told to come to the table for supper or talked to one of us disrespectfully I most certainly would have disconnected their phones. They also had to be in bed BY 10p on school nights, had to be home by 11p on non-school nights IF we allowed them to go out (they had to have clear plans to go anywhere) & we had to know who their friends were....until they graduated from high school (even at 18 and 19).

    Answer by tracylynnr67 at 2:32 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Good for you! If he thinks he's grown then make an honest man out of him and make him take responsibility for himself. I bet he'll be glad to back at your dinner table with a smile on his face and kind words in his mouth in no time. GOOD LUCK!

    Answer by dmbutler at 8:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You rock!!!!!! Not hard at all, it is called tough love! He is 18 and needs to learn how to respect your rules in your home. In working with teenagers, I notice they crave structure and guidance. The value of working hard to earn something is a good value.

    Answer by Villamoma at 8:38 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Nope, you are not being too harsh. My 18 year old son would NEVER disrespect me like that. If he thinks he is grown, start charging him rent and bill him for the food, electricity, water....etc....

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 8:18 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • There may be something going on if this is all of a sudden....maybe g/f probs?
    BUT i would NOT tolerate disrespect regardless of age and u did the right thing by cutting off his toys to show u mean business.
    The phone and internet are luxuries not NEEDS so therefore you dont have to provide him.
    And if he thinks he is grown he needs to go get a job and pay for his own stuff and not be such a turd to his momma.

    Answer by Sandyr911 at 9:59 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You're not being too harsh at all. If he's almost 18 and acting like a 5 yo with a temper tantrum then maybe he needs a little dose of reality. I wouldn't turn any of the stuff back on either until he can contribute to paying for at least part of it. In our house, (I have 3 teens), everyone who is home is expected to be at the table for dinner, whether they want to eat or not.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 7:40 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I believe you are not being harsh. He lives in your house. He still needs to go by your rules. I don't care how old he is. He needs to respect you. Why should you give him luxurys if he can't even get respect you enough to eat dinner at your table. Even when he is 40 he will still need to respect you. Good luck with your whole situation.

    Answer by akmami0f4 at 8:33 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • He's not yet 18. He's a part of the family. He should do as he's told.

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 8:46 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You did exactly right. He needs to learn that being 18 doesn't mean he doesn't need to show you respect

    Answer by JLS2388 at 9:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • If your paying for it you can do what you want.
    coming from a 16 year old i think that was completely reasonable.
    he was very out of line and needs to show respect no matter what his age

    Answer by MaybeMommy1994 at 11:23 PM on Dec. 3, 2010