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My 20 year old is violent and hateful..

My 20 year old daughter is hateful and violent, she lies and she stole her stepfathers check endorsed it and cashed it, He didn't press charges because I didn't want her life to be ruined because she wouldn't be able to work around money etc., she gets very hateful and threatens to tear stuff up when she doesn't get her way, she calls me the B-word her stepfather distances himself from her because he is afraid of hurting her, she doesn't drive or work but shes always running the streets all hours of the night, all her friends are still in highschool or going to college, she sleeps all day and doesn't do anything around the house but hog the computer and tv and eat and sleep until its dark then runs the streets, she constantly lies, her father and I have been divorced since she was 2, and he's her hero but yet he won't do anything for her...I want to put her out I live in Ohio, shes causing too much stress,

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StressedOut107

Asked by StressedOut107 at 9:20 PM on Dec. 3, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 9 (312 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • put her out,,tell her to go live with her dad,,thats what we had to do with my stepson,,he was being that way and being mean to the baby too...if she doesnt want to leave go to the court and get a supina,,they dont cost anything..
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 9:24 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Kick her out.
    Your 1st mistake, NOT PRESSING CHARGES!! What she did was illegal and she should have dealt with the consequences.
    She's 20 years old, your legal obligation to her is over!
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:27 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Kick her ass out! Sorry but when you start showing your ass like that, that is what you deserve. Tell her she has until the 1st of the year to get her stuff out. Make sure any gifts she gets for Christmas are stuff for her to move out with, kitchen or bathroom stuff...etc.

    Don't take the crap anymore.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 9:30 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I would put her out 2 or tell her she need to stop being lazy, get a job and tell her she has to pay rent. If she lives under ur roof u need to put ur foot down on her. Its not necessary to have a 20 yr old live in ur house without listening to the rules and ur husband and have respect for yall. If she doesn't want to listen to ur rules or ur husband rules then tell her she has to get out and find her own way of living without computer and tv. Or she can live with her father so u don't have to deal with the stress. If she is not in highschool or college anymore their is no need for her to still be in ur house if she not going to respect u or the person u r with. If that was my son I would kick him out or go tell him to live with his father. I was like that at that age, but I alway respected my mother rules and show her some type of respect. The thing my mother said if u don't like my rules then there the door and go.
    andmaef28

    Answer by andmaef28 at 9:36 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • well there is one of two things i can think of that might be going on 1 she maybe on drugs or 2 suffers from adhd have you considered any of these???
    meemee660

    Answer by meemee660 at 9:39 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • I think you need to. I'm 21... the only thing that really woke me up was having kids. you dont want her to get into THAT situation. you have to try and get her to wake up.. kick her out... or tell her she has to do some things or she will be kicked out, ie get a job or whatever you expect from her. shes ONLY doing it because you let her. and i mean im not saying that in a bad way im just saying. for example, sometimes I just sit around and do nothing because i KNOW my mom will, take out the trash, wash my dishes etc etc. if she HAS to do certian things she WILL. message me if you want! because I would hate to her doing drugs or getting pregnant.
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 9:40 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • You seriously need to press charges and kick her butt out! She's an adult. Its time for her to take care of herself and not mooch off you and screw up your life.
    Dark_Rain

    Answer by Dark_Rain at 9:43 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • if it is drugs then you should try to set up an intervention being a parent is hard and it doesnt end when they turn 18 and yes what she did and is doing is wrong but if it is drugs then she needs you now more then ever and if she doesnt want it then consider putting her out
    meemee660

    Answer by meemee660 at 9:44 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • The hardest thing I've ever done is go along with kicking my stepdaughter out. It's easy for people who haven't been there to say "just kick her out" but when you are making a 20 year old girl leave home with nothing & no one, it's very scary....regardless of how bad her actions have been. I was sick for months over it. You are literally putting her on the streets. But sometimes it's the only way they can learn to be responsible for themselves and stop acting like out of control idiots. And your life will improve tremendously, too. If you have raised her right, her character will eventually show through, once she gets out of the downward spiral. My stepdaughter has made a huge turnaround with her life. We will probably never trust her 100%, but at least she has stopped almost all of the bad behavior. Once they realize there is no money and no support, they find a way to turn their lives around. Good luck.
    Sandy1220

    Answer by Sandy1220 at 10:22 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • If u kick her out then she has no choice but 2 get off her LAZY ASS & get a job! Then she can pay her own way. U should've pressed charges with the ck thing cause all u taught her was that she could do what she damn well pleases & get away with it. Tell her she has 2 find emploment immediately so she can save the money 4 a place 2 live cause she's out & ur not playn with her. Make her understand that she's worn out her welcome & needs 2 go. If she don't take u seriously then that's on her not u. She's abusing u & taking advantage of ur good heartedness & that's WRONG!
    amy197

    Answer by amy197 at 10:34 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

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