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any suggestions?

Ok so I thought that after I had my baby..things would go back to normal..with my mil.. boy was I wrong.. she didn't really start to get on my nerves until I was about 4 months preggo.... and really get on my nerves. Like it irks me to even look at her. She is always talking to people like they are children. She has this annoying fake laugh. She is constantly trying to pat or rub your arm. Leg back etc.. and she is just plain annoyingly fake. She dramatizes everything. My husband is a big mamas boy so I don't say much about her fakeness to him..but he talks to her everyday and 99% of the time we see in daily. She bugs the mess out of me but I don't want it to come between my husband and me.but if I keep seeing her daily I will eventually explode and hurt both of their feelings bc she is always in our business. Even personal business or private stuff and I can't take it anymore. I would just let him go by himself but he insists I go bc he wants us to spnd time with her and he wants us to go as a family..and she just comes over whnever she wants.. any suggestions how I can get away from her without telling him I just can't stand her..something peaceful that wont cause problems with my husband and I and also wont add to her drama stories?


Asked by Ross2010 at 11:06 PM on Dec. 3, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (4,420 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I wish I had your problem... seriously I do. I'd love to have a MIL that cared about my hubby, and our children. I do however know what it is to have some family (in laws) around more often than you'd like. I will sometimes go in the bedroom and just stay there till they're gone. I've told them that when I'm in a mood, I'd rather be alone because i don't want to snap at them and hurt their feelings. I'm telling the truth when I say that. I don't want to hurt them.
    I think that after you got pregnant you wanted your hubby to turn away from his relationship with his mother more and turn to his new family (understandable). I think you should gently talk to him about what you want and need. Don't go all cold turkey on her or him tho, you're going to have to ease into this situation with care. Once she finds somewhere else to spend her time, you're likely going to realize you miss her.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:20 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • well, I'm like the OP in her response to being a hard person, I'm pretty easy going as long as you don't cross the line.
    OP, my suggestion would be to tactfully ask your husband to go one day without seeing his mommy, tell him your sick or something and you don't want her to get sick. Refuse to open your door if she comes over, tell her you really are trying to look out for her welfare and maybe call her or something to keep her updated on what's going on. Eventually your husband will see her fakeness (sp?) and speak to her about it. That's what worked with my own MIL, until she crossed the line and now even her son doesn't want to see her anymore. But that's the only thing I can see working, you have to wean the boy away from the momma to make any progress.

    Answer by momnstepmom at 3:05 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I would very gently discuss this with your husband. I think he would listen considering he doesn't like to go without you and your child to see her. I am all for family being in our lives and spending time with them, however, you must have boundaries. Afterall you have just started your new family and you need time to settle into your own routine. Maybe you could suggest getting together with her for dinner on night a week or visiting at least once over the weekend. Let him go when he wants but let him know that even though you love him and his family you need to be able to adjust to motherhood and want time for just you two and your child every now and again. The whole MIL thing is really tough. I'm sure she is excited about the baby and being a grandmother but there is such a thing as too much time together! Good luck, I think it will all work out just fine.

    Answer by ditchen4 at 11:14 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Hell, at least she likes you..27yrs of marriage & mine still hates me! I took her baby boy away!! If you've ever seen the movie Fried Green Tomato's and they go to the nusing home to say hello to the aunt, and the aunt throws somethin at him, that would be me :)

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:15 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Idk, i think its odd you think you have the right to judge her as being fake. You don't seem like a very easy person to get along with yourself. I feel bad for her too, imagine your childrens spouse feeling that way about you.


    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 11:35 PM on Dec. 3, 2010

  • Im not really judging her.. its more of calling it as I see it. She takes pictures rom off the internet and says she took it from some trip she cell phone default wallpapers she told me she took it on some vava she went on. Ut it was just he tropical default... and she cries about everything.. her sisters got into a fight about toper paper and she cried and said she feels like its her fault.. the were a whole state away and arguing about to and she thougt it was her fault?? You are right about hard to get along with.... but only after you've crossed some line or boundary.. up til then I am very friendly.. I have a hard time moving past being walked on or being treated wrongly or disrespected... that's when I become hard to get along with..

    Comment by Ross2010 (original poster) at 11:47 PM on Dec. 3, 2010