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How do you deal with horrible terrible twos? And what do you do when everything you try fails?

my 2 year old son can be the sweetest angel sometimes. But when he doesnt get his way,the tantrums that he throws are worthy of serious grounding to the corner for half a day(not that i do that,but sometimes i wish i could). any advice on how to deal with it?

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romomomof2

Asked by romomomof2 at 1:36 AM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

Level 5 (66 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • pray. im serious. my twins are 1. only one of them does this but, its still so hard. idk what else to do right now but pray
    ElsaSalsaaa

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 1:39 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I've got one who just exited the terrible twos (don't worry, she's now in the terrible three's! LOL) and one who just entered them. Sometimes I feel like I'm absolutely at my wit's end. The best advice I can give is to not give into his tantrums. Literally, walk away. Make a big show of turning your head and making it clear that you are NOT going to pay attention to him when he's throwing a fit. Then walk into the other room, scream into a pillow, punch the pillow if you have to, get a cup of coffee or tea or whatever you like, take some deep breaths, and let him get it all out of his system. If you know he is throwing an irrational fit, that is honestly the best thing you can do. And I agree with Elsa, pray too! Haha. GL mama!
    aliceryannesmom

    Answer by aliceryannesmom at 1:56 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • oh i started doing that when he started colics...and didnt end them til he was 4 months old. while starting teething. and being both bottle fed and breast fed. and me alone all day and all night as my hubby worked 2 jobs. i prayed and cried and prayed some more...knda became a habit,i bet God got sick and tired of hearing me beg for mercy...:)) i cannot imagine how you do it with 2 of the same age,regardless that one is actually "milder" than the other...theyre 2 at the same time...it's hard. i'm just whining i guess,i'm pregnant with our second child and she doesnt seem to be "milder" than my son was...maybe thats why everything seems ten times worse than maybe is in reality...maybe i should blame the hormones...:))
    romomomof2

    Comment by romomomof2 (original poster) at 1:58 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • @Alice,i seem to have made a habit out of that too. what i do is,when he starts a tantrum,i take him in his room and make it clear that if he gets out of bed til i go to get him,i will be furious. so he sits there while calling me "mami!!!!" and crying with tears. but usually it really is an irrational tantrum (no sweets-candy,chocolate,fruit,etc-before real food/me saying no to him if he tries to throw something or hit someone/me saying no to him in any kind of circumstances) and he throws himself on the ground,screaming and crying and even kicking sometimes. and i'm just like looking at him to see if he's gonna stop. when i see nothing happens,he goes to his room and has to stay there for 2 min by himself to calm down. when that doesnt work,i go and try to calm him down. and when that doesnt work either,i let him crfy it out and go to another room and ignore him. after he's done,he'll come to me,say sorry and give me a hug.
    romomomof2

    Comment by romomomof2 (original poster) at 2:06 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Honestly what works for me is time out. You just have to stick with it and be consistant. First tiem I did it when he was about 1, it literally took hours for him to stay in the spot. Stayed that way for a few days. Then he started listening. He's listened to time out threats ever since. "Dakota if you don't stop whining right now, youre going in time out for not listening" "NO!" Then he'll instantly stop about 95% of the time. that odd 5% that he doesnt listen, its bed time n he gets his little butt dropped in his bed for a while. Most of the problems I have with him are him just thinking something is funny. like refusing to brush his teeth. But once again, time out fixes that most of the time too. He's going to turn 3 this month.
    Kayere

    Answer by Kayere at 2:09 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • @Kayere happy birthday to your son,he seems like a really good kid and you are a lucky mom. Benji doesnt have the problem with the hygene. he would love to be able to brush his teeth all day long,he started taking a bath by himself almost (i don't trust leaving him alone in the tub for a second god forbidd but he doesnt really need my help except for washing the private parts) he is very eager to do things by himself,even make his bed and help me put dishes away or other regular chores. but man when i say that he has to wait for lunch time in order to get a cookie ( did i mention he gets really bad sugar rushes,like the chipmunks did after "uncle Ian" gave them cappucinos),or that he needs to share his toy,omg he just starts whining. a baby with colics sounds better than him. as for going to a restaurant or to the store with him,well i've got about 5 min before he gets bored and starts screaming in which case i will go outside
    romomomof2

    Comment by romomomof2 (original poster) at 2:20 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • What works with my daughter at least 75% of the time-
    I sit down right near where she's having her tantrum and start playing with her toys, or eating an apple/orange/healthy snack, or singing a song she enjoys. Most of the time she will eventually stop screeching and flailing to come over and join me. If it's a tantrum about something that has to be done right now (diaper change, get in the car, etc) then I just make her do it. Music is a huge one for my 27 month old- it usually puts her in a better mood.

    Sometimes though, all you can do for tantrums is either ignore them or hug the kid. They're still such babies.
    soflashelley

    Answer by soflashelley at 7:49 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I raised five younger sisters, and five children and now grand baby who is now four, each one went through different phases, my 17 year old son was the worst, colic for the first six months, then the worst temper tantrums I have seen in my life. He screamed, kicked and his favorite was biting me, I swear I thought I had somehow gotten the wrong baby from birth. They only way I made it through was to take a LOT of deep breaths, There was absolutely nothing that worked with him, I learned to let him work through it himself with the least interaction from me during his melt downs. Now he is 17 and the sweetest almost grown man I have ever met. He is so calm in situations that all of the other kids (now adults) would totally lose their control over. I have to wonder if maybe when these kids go through rough times when they are young, that makes them calmer when they are grown? May you find some peaceful moments in your day ;)
    mimi66

    Answer by mimi66 at 10:59 AM on Dec. 7, 2010

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