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Pregnant and need advice!

Just found out that I will be expecting my second child. I want this baby and do not want to abort it at all. But the pressures and nature of my family is making me consider abortion. Everyone in my family my age (25, 20somethings) do not have children, like them I am a college graduate but they all are staying home with parents saving money and for the most part will all be successful. I know this second child will make them look down at me and with the hostility I will be receiving from them I will feel inferior to them all. My childrens father says that is not a good excuse/reason to abort the baby. I feel like without the baby I will be able to accomplish alot and with it the only problem I will face in keeping it is the dirty looks and shame I will feel from my family. I am so lost and do not know what to do. I am about 5 weeks and already feel a connection with my belly and baby. I know he/she is not fully developed yet but I feel that from the moment it starts budding to a human it is a life. Im just confused. I really need someone to talk to. I am thinking of speaking to a counselor or pastor. I truly need guidance. My childrens father think that I should not worry about my family since they barely have contact with me and has basically made my life miserable. I am most worried about disappointing my parents, but at the same time thats my baby and my life. I worry so much on what people think of me and feeling accepted by my family who has not really been by my side except for my mother.HISTORY: I am not married and this will be my second child with my daughters father that my family do not like. 25 living on my own.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:07 AM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Pregnancy

Answers (14)
  • OMG are you serious?! You KNOW what you have to do! Why on earth would you abort a child because you don't want to be "looked down on" or disappoint a family member? Screw them! Your an adult and can make your own damn decisions! Sorry to say, but this does seem a little "trolly" to me. If not, I apologize. Keep the baby!
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 8:13 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I urge you to speak to a counselor or pastor, as you suggested, for peace of mind. You have to do what is right for you. You can be just as successful in a career someday as your other family members, but it might take a little longer. Don't assume you can not be a success just because you have children. There are plenty of moms who don't even start school until years after having children and become very successful. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 8:17 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Wow, of all the reasons to consider abortion. Either there are a lot of whackadoodles online or the trolls are sure active this morning. If you are serious, then you need some serious help. A college grad? Doubtful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:28 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • This is not a troll question at all and fortunately I am a college graduate. I am sorry to those who think questions are troll questions if they can not relate. I have had a tough time growing up and it has effected still to this day. This is an important situation for me and hard one as well.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:33 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Maybe you should have had your tubes tied while in college then. Seriously. Abortion as BIRTH CONTROL is pretty horrible IMHO.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • By your family looking down upon you is a SHAME on THEM! Regardless if you are successful or not. You must be a stronger woman within yourself and not let your family dictate on how you will be living your life. Every child that is born is a PRECIOUS life to nuture, guide, and LOVE. By your other family members living at home, still with their own parents so that they can save money and be successful is not the truth at all. You might think it is, however look more deeply. Yes, it is your body and the father has a say with his child also. Your mate has been there for you and supporting you to overcome the trifles from your family. He will still be there to support you in anything. Don't let negative thoughts take over. Please talk to someone.
    Tita515

    Answer by Tita515 at 8:42 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • It sounds like you'd suffer more if you got and abortion. I say do what you want to do and that will make you the happiest. You could always give the baby up for adoption...an open adoption would let you see the baby and there are tons of good families that would love that baby. Give that baby life that's the best thing and don't let anyone bully you into making a choice you don't want cause if you regret your decision you'll start to resent the people who "made" you do it
    OBImomma

    Answer by OBImomma at 8:47 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Why would l need tubes tied while in College when I did not have children while in school? I am not using abortion as birth control no where in my post did I mention that or insinuate that. Dont answer or post if this question bothers you or provokes you to be demeaning.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:53 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I had two kids and have had to put my career aspirations aside. I do not regret it and fortunately my family is more than supportive. If you abort your baby because of your family it will make you hate them even more. You should definitely talk to someone. Even if there is a pregancy support office in your area, go there at once. You know deep down this baby is yours and everything happens for a reason. You will still be able to be sucessful, especially if your baby's daddy supports you. I would cut contact with your family, since they are unsupportive of your happines. And if you already have 1 child, adding one more to the mix isn't all that different. Good luck with this battle inside you.
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 8:54 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Your BF is right, you cant kill this child b/c of what your family MIGHT think! You have to take responsibility for your actions and not let others look down on you for your decisions! I know Im being a bit harsh but the reality of it is, is that this child was concieved in love and will be raised with a loving mother, father and sibling. Thats what matters, not outside influences! Think long and hard b4 you take the life of an unborn.
    AingealsBabies

    Answer by AingealsBabies at 9:15 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

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