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Christmas problems, need advice

So my husband was raised not to keep CXmas, b/c we know it's not Christs true date of birth, the tree was established long before Christ was born, it was adorned as an amoge to the Sun God, the Pope instituded Dec 25th as the day the celebrate Christ birthday. My husbands family was raised similar to Jewish, they (we) keep the Holy Days, not the modern Holidays, b/c Christ kept the Holy Days and we don't believe they were abolished with His death. We don't keep xmas at our house but the problem is I have a 16mo old. cont...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

Answers (15)
  • cont.... My mom is insistant on getting her gifts and us coming oiver for xmas. I don't mind b/c I don't want to take it away from her. I plan on explaining to my daughter when she gets bigger why we don't keep it and they do. But my husband is very upset b/c I told him last yr after xmas that we wouldn't keep it with my family. I've tried to talk to my mom but she's insistant that she get my daughter gifts and that we come. I told hubby he doesn't have to come and be a aprt but he's still upset. I do and don't want to go... cont
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • cont I don't want to go for the reasons above but I do want to go for my mom and for my daughter.I don't think it's fair that she miss out and the other kids get all these gifts. We do buy gifts at the Feast of Tabernacles, I guess that is kind of our xmas. I don't know what to tell my hubby to make him ok with it and I don't want to take it away from my mom and daughter. Xms morning was always tyhe best morning, better than birthdays but I understand why my hubbys family doesn't keep it. I don't think I will go to hell for keeping it, but to them it's the reasoning behind why it's kept
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I was raised Jehovah Witness so no Christmas for me. This is what my parents did. Either a month before or after the holidays they brought all us to Toys R Us and gave us a spending limit. Sometimes we had little and it was $20 and I remember one time my dad was doing really well financially and he gave us $100 each. I know your daughter can't really do that now but it is a thought for the future. Also your mom should respect your and your DH's wishes in regards to the holidays. Perhaps she can also give the gifts earlier or later in the year. Just have them as gifts - not xmas gifts. I get my father a gift every year and give it to him a month or two before xmas - no wrapping, nothing. It's just a gift from my heart to my father. My father still follows the no holiday thing. So I think you are choosing your mom over your DH if you let her bring over the gifts and he disagrees.
    nightwillow

    Answer by nightwillow at 11:01 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I think it's fine for your parents to give your daughter gifts on Dec. 25th. When she gets older you can explain to her that her grandparents celebrate Dec.25 th as Jesus b-day, but we don't, and that's ok and that's why your grandparents give you gifts. It is the start of teaching religious acceptance. And explain that concept to your DH and see if he can agree to that.

    FishingMama

    Answer by FishingMama at 11:20 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • As grandparents I feel that it's their right to bring gifts to your children. Your husband should appreciate and love the fact that these people care enough to want to give them gifts and spend time with them. Although I know it can be hard to wrestle with religious beliefs, many, many Christians celebrate Christmas as a celebration of Jesus' birth. Even though we know it's not technically the time of his birth, what a wonderful way to come together as a family to celebrate His birth.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • It shouldn't be done if it's going to cause conflict between her and her husband. Her husband should come before her mother. Also grandparents don't have rights, they have privileges. If I didn't celebrate Christmas in my home I would find it highly disrespectful for my mom or mil to push Christmas gifts on me or my child. I don't see why the mother can't compromise and give her granddaughter the gifts earlier.
    nightwillow

    Answer by nightwillow at 1:43 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • do you celebrate family b-days??? do you celebrate them on the exact day,??? or do you wait to have it on a day where all the family can be there. so i guess it woul be ok to celebrate JESUS b-day on another day, since its not sure exactly when JESUS was born. but to tell the truth, i think we should celebrate JESUS every day, give thanks, not gifts. amen
    IlistN

    Answer by IlistN at 2:10 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I am not Christian and we as a family do not celebrate Christmas. We celebrate Winter Solstice. But, my mother and father and sister all celebrate Christmas. We get together with them to share the day with them. Our kids know that they are celebrating something different than what we celebrate. It has worked out wonderfully.
    mama3ks97

    Answer by mama3ks97 at 3:10 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • If we were ment to celebrate Jesus birthday don't you think that the date would have been in the bible for us to know? He left us his date of death and told us to remember that Niasin 14.
    I just think that Jesus being the most important, if there was a date that we sould know of for his bith then we would know.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I think her hubby could at least compermize a lil after all she does what he mostly wants anyway, and he shouldn't be that rude about it cause i am sure she puts his religion first at all time and the grandparents should at least be able to be happy before they have health problems or anything else happens to them at least they would remember when the child opens it and they see that smile with there eyes all light up and the hugs they will get, they to need some moemories when they get to old to remember who the child is or who they are.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:45 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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