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As our parent's children are we responsible for taking care of our parents when they get to old?

Do you ever think about it? Do you know what you will do?


Asked by Momforhealth at 11:11 AM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,782 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • Well, that's a question of values ... if family is something you value, and you are appreciative of and respectful of the older generation, then yes, most certainly you do. Not only is it a responsibility and an obligation, it is also a privilege.

    But it's not uncommon today to find people who think no further than the end of their own noses and make no more efforts than what benefits them. So very sad.

    Answer by justnancyb at 11:26 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Well said, just nancyb. And while many of us don't come from perfect backgrounds, yes, we do have an obligation - although the extent of that obligation certainly varies from situation to situation - to assist our elders. Our society - and our financial situation and that of our government - would all benefit from a more collective approach to elder care, as opposed to the individualistic nonsense so often spouted recklessly and carelessly.

    Answer by Gaccck at 11:38 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I agree with Nancy. In my culture, we care for our elders. It is of utmost importance. In this country, this is not often done.

    Answer by errantmommy at 1:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Yes, we do have a responsibility to our parents and grandparents. How we choose to accept or neglect that responsibility may depend on our own individual experiences, but the responsibility is there.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 2:36 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Of course we are! Who else is going to do it.

    Answer by mompam at 11:13 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Yes, I think it our responsibility. My parents are in their 60's now and I know that they will be well taken care of when they can no longer care for themselves.


    Answer by shanlaree at 11:14 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • My dad has already told me it's not. He doesn't want me ruining my life caring for him and I feel the same about my own kids. My grandmother (my dad's mom) lived with us from the time I was 16 until she died in 1999 (when I was 23...I had long since moved out) and it nearly tore my family apart. My mom nearly went insane caring for her mil, my dad worked long hours to cover the costs of the extra mouth to feed and when he wasn't working locked himself in his room (away from even my mom) because he was stressed and didn't want to deal with it. Both me and my brother left home as soon as we could because the tension was so high we couldn't stand to be home any more. My mom went from raising us to caring for my gramma (who had dementia) and then died herself the year after my gramma. It destroyed our family, my parents barely spoke for years because of it. My dad doesn't want that for me and I won't do that to my kids.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:17 AM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • It is not your responsibility to take care of them to the point that your whole life is turned upside down, but it is your responsibility to make sure they are taken care of to the best of your ability or to carry out what they want. That could be finding a good nursing home or assisted living home when the time comes, making sure they have inhome nursing care if that is needed. They took care of you as a child, it is respectful to care for them in turn.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:40 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • That's just scary thinking one of my kids would get stuck with taking care of me. I'm sure they'd just put me in a home and forget about me.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:42 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Of course we have an obligation to our parents. And, as others have said, how we respond to that obligation will depend on our perceptions of how we've been treated. Even those who, like me, did not have an ideal childhood still have an obligation - and for us to ignore that based on some concept of "getting even" or some thought of "why should I?" would only serve to make us equally (or perhaps even more) wrong.
    It is not society's place to care for our aging parents - it is our place. Some cherish that place, others resent it. Either way, it is our responsibility.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 3:13 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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