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I hate the holidays and I always have since my mom died a week before Xmas 12 years ago but I need to be happy for my son,I can't give him the kind of Xmas I never had and I probably never will this is totally something for me to feel bad about since I never wanted any child to go through what I did growing up so what can I give him besides love?


Asked by momuv2933 at 12:47 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (8)
  • How old is your child? Very small kids dont need much material goods to be truly happy. When my son was small I had very little resources. We lived in a one bedroom apt. I slept in the living room. I used to take him to the library a lot. Get books to read to him & VHS tapes to watch for free. He loved trains to so I would take him to the train station to watch the Amtrack roll in. When it was xmas time I took him to see decorations & lights other people had up. We drew pictures & made cookies for xmas. I could not afford a xmas tree so I actually scoped a tiny fir tree out in the park one day. I borrowed a hack saw from my grandpa & i cut it down & dragged it home. We made popcorn strings & paper ornaments to put on it. Things are what you make them. Happiness is a choice.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:39 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Reassurance that he will always be protected by love, love is the one thing you can't give enough of, don't pass on your bad experiences to him.

    Answer by older at 12:55 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry 2 hear that about ur mom. Thats a bad deal. I couldn't imagine not liking X-mas. We just decorate everthing that will stand still long enough 2 decorate. We put up window stickers, lights, the works. Try to make some new traditions with ur baby. Christmas is going 2 b a big deal 4 a long time. Did ur mom like Christmas? Was there anything special that she did? If so try 2 carry that on with ur little 1. She would like that I think & mayb it would help u as well.

    Answer by amy197 at 12:59 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • So sorry about you mom's passing...although it was such an awful time in your life. you need to start thinking of more positive things...celebrate the time that you got to spend with your mother~ do you think that she would want you to be so sad and miserable about that time of year or enjoying all of the wonder memories that you have had with and about her? Do you think that she would want you to make Christmas a happy time for your son? I do! Make this month a special time to share memories and stories about your mom with your son and other family members

    Answer by rebeccadac at 1:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I'm not rich so I would be expected as a mother to get my son something for Xmas so what do you suggest since I'm on PA and no job and I'm not rich so love alone is not going to cut it in this house so what now?

    Comment by momuv2933 (original poster) at 1:07 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Please, for your child AND for your self, you need to find a way to let go of your anger and pain around this season.

    You can decide to take back this season. Don't let the misfortune of your mother's untimely passing rob you or your living loved ones of the joy you and they deserve in your lives.

    I know it sounds overly simplistic to say, but you can start today. One day at a time. Save your sorrow for another day, and MAKE today joyful. Fake it, if you have to, but do it anyway. Fake it till you make it. ACT happy, focus on what's good around you. Smile for your child. After a while, you may find that you've forgotten you're faking...and real joy will begin to take over.

    It really is possible. Don't second guess, don't over-think it. Just do it.

    Have a Happy Holiday Season...and New Year...New Life. :-)

    Answer by ss_mom at 1:09 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • i can say honestly hun that i know in a way what u r saying and feeling to a point.i still have my moma but my parets have always messed hallidays up fpr me maenly my dad. but you give them what u can and make the best of it. i feel like crap cause i cant give my oldest what i would love to but dont make it hard on them cause then they will hate the halidays as well and that will brake ur hart more than anything....

    Answer by eaglesbaby1 at 1:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I understand the not having a lot of money and yes you want to be able to give your son something for christmas. Have you checked out your local dollar stores. They sometimes have some really good toys for cheap. If you want to do something special you could make him something (if your crafty) or take him to a local shelter and serve lunch and just do some volunteering for the holidays. This would teach him about giving to others. Have a Merry Christmas

    Answer by sonsmom at 1:31 PM on Dec. 4, 2010