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I don't think any oif you understand what growing up for me was like,my mother abandoned me by not giving me attention,love,gifts,etc I was relieved when she died but she left me with no love for myself or anybody else and it hurts around the holidays more than anything so any sympathy towards me or non feeling cafe moms?


Asked by momuv2933 at 1:20 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Holidays

Level 4 (42 Credits)
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Answers (8)
  • My mother abandoned me & my siblings to be raised by other family members. She rarely even sent me a xmas card. Once she sent me a check on my bday that bounced. Yeah, it sucks. But you what? I grew up & I had kids & I decided that BECAUSE my childhood was like that, that I would make damn sure my kids never felt that void. I pour all my love that I could not give to my mom on them. I do my best to make xmas a happy, joyful time for them & in turn, THAT is my happiness. My mom is cremated in a box in my closet & 99% of the time i don't even think about her being in there. My life is my own. She might have ruined my childhood years w/ her selfishness but she's NOT going to ruin the rest of my life or the lives of my kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:31 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Your childhood sucked. I get it. So did mine. But YOU are responsible for YOU. NO ONE ELSE. You need to take control of your life and stop letting your past control it.
    I suggest you seek couseling--and yes, you can find someone even if you are on PA. It will only benefit you and your child.

    Answer by layh41407 at 1:25 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I'm sorry you had to go through that, but ultimately YOU are responsible for your own life. At some point you have to decide to be happy and not let the past govern your future. Make new holiday traditions with your kids and I would highly suggest some counseling. I've seen people come from much worse situations and CHOSE to make a good life and be happy. It can only cripple you if you let it.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 1:27 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Join the depression group. I am sorry for your past. To not have a mother is horrible. Work hard to be the best mother you can be.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 1:27 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Not sure what you are saying or what you want from us at CM?
    Personally, I would not be discussing this here----its a little too much. Its unecessary "spilling one's guts", looking for sympathy,etc. DId your Mom beat you? Did she lock you in the basement? I mean....what exactly made you so upset?
    "Non-feeling" Cafe Moms? Hmmmm....
    so, what DO you want?

    Answer by kerp1960 at 1:27 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Therapy would help alot. A good idea is to relive each painful moment, cry about, walk through the pain and release it. The Holidays are hard for many, many people and for many, many reasons but please do not allow yourself to be stuck in the past any long then you need to. You can, through therapy release the past and learn to love yourself all over again. Also going to a church and visiting with a pastor is free just in case you do not have any insurance.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 1:30 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • You ar right, no one understands what you felt when you were growing up, and no one ever will. Lots of us had bad childhoods, but we try not to repeat in the next generation by realizing that our past doesn't have to be our future, and that even though you had no control over what happened to you as a child, you do have control over the kind of childhood that your child has. Having someone feel sorry for you will not solve your problems. You have to do something. The first step for you would be getting some counseling for yourself to help you let go of the past. Go to the library and check out some books on the subject.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 1:32 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • What a great time to turn around and do opposite of what your Mother has done. My family did not celebrate Christmas at all when I was a child. It was a very depressing time of the year but I choose to turn that around for my kids and try to make things as special as possible. You can dwell on the past or make a choice to CHOICE to change your future. Choose to be different, choose to be better.

    Answer by Melbornj at 1:37 PM on Dec. 4, 2010