Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can i help my SIL (child support in SC issue) updated

Her husband, who's a pharmacist, has never followed the child support guiddelines. Back in the days in which he actually paid her something, he would give $100 at a time, which as anyone knows, doesn't work when you have to pay RENT at the beginning of the month. The people in DSS in the state of SC have botched her case over and over again; also neglecting to serve him papers; neglecting to notify her of hearings; reducing the child support because he is (voluntarily)_ unemployed. She hasn't gotten a dime from him in months---yet he's had the money to buy an engagement ring; get married; go on a honeymoon; have another baby and file for an annulment from my SIL. His wife is employed. SIL has been chasing hopes and is now in California and is headed to a homeless shelter because her job opportunity didn't work out and she has no money to come home. Her boys are 9 and 11. They cry every day and have several stress-related health issues. Even the SC DSS attorneys won't return calls. She has no where else to turn. We have given her money, but we have our own family to support and the money tree is out of leaves. Does anyone know what I can do to call these people out? Write the governor's office? I mean how can this possibly be legal? What can I do for her? Any advice would be so very much appreciated.

**Update*** She has sent her boys back to SC to live with her mother until she can find a job.  I don't think she holds out any hope for child support but I'm going to make some calls, based on your suggestions. Thanks for all the input.

Answer Question

Asked by charlottej at 1:28 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,283 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Have you thought of taking the kids to the father to take care of.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • That's what my husband and I think she should do. However, the boys don't want to go. They say the stepmom is mean to them and je dad "doesn't want them there." Right now, the dad and new wife have their hands full, as they just had a new baby in November, born with Downs Syndrome and just had open heart surgery. I still think sending them there is better than living in a shelter. I'm afraid she's going to lose them to state custody.

    Comment by charlottej (original poster) at 2:03 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I"m so sorry to hear this. What an awful thing to have happen, especially this time of year. Here in the state of Maine mothers who go to a shelter usually receive state aid and are moved to the top of the list for placement in subsidized housing. You should research and find the information about it for California or where ever she is going to be staying. My cousin went into a shelter when she was 6 months pregnant, and she only had to stay a week before they set her up with a two bedroom apartment which her rent is subsidized (the government pays a portion) until she can find work and help pay the rent. The rent is based on income. I hope this was helpful. good luck.

    Answer by sugaree at 2:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • My ex was like that. I"m just now getting cs and our youngest is 32. I wrote to several governors over the years. I finally got cs when I contacted a Dead Beat Dad group who goes after jerks like these guys. I don't remember which group but just google it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:34 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • sugaree makes a good point. Being homeless with kids sometimes gets things done quickly regarding housing. I know in our town it gets them at the top of the housing list.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:35 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • She won't loos them unless they can prove she's an unfit mother, and it sounds like she's doing the best she can for those boys.
    Is she still in California? I've got people out that way who might be able to send me some info that can help her. Send me a PM and let me know. I know here in NC a woman with children are placed high on the list for housing, but not at the top because they are looking for those who have jobs to rent their apartments out, but that's here. I also know that here she can get his rights revoked based on the fact that he makes the kids feel like they are not wanted and the stepmom is too busy to watch them appropriately.

    Answer by momnstepmom at 3:11 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Thanks for all the support and suggestions. I really do appreciate it!!!! Such a tough thing to see her go through.

    Comment by charlottej (original poster) at 12:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.