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does anyone have any ideas how to explain to a 16 month old that mommy is having another baby and the baby is going to be born really early so that means mommy wont be around much??

i have a 16 month old son and i am trying to explain to him that i have a baby in my stomach and he is not doing to good. i am 8 months pregnant and the drs are wanting to take him early because he is not getting enough blood flow to him through the placenta and his fluid is low. how do i explain to my son that mommy loves him but she also has to get prepared for the new baby and i wont be able to play with him as much

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mikaelsmommy09

Asked by mikaelsmommy09 at 4:58 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (11 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Just keep harping on him telling him about it, so that when it does happen he will figure it out.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • i mean he still does not understand that i have a baby in my tummy so its hard
    mikaelsmommy09

    Comment by mikaelsmommy09 (original poster) at 5:04 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Just make sure your son is well taken care of by you and family members. He is too young to understand his mom's pregnancy might be going badly. GL
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:06 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • He's too little to even begin to understand any of that
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 5:08 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • we do not have much family and not that many friends so mainly its just me and daddy taking care of him so when i have his brother it will be only daddy taking care of him so i dont know what to do
    mikaelsmommy09

    Comment by mikaelsmommy09 (original poster) at 5:09 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Mom, he will be just fine, kids adapt better than you think, daddy will do a good job.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:10 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • During your pregnancy, you should teach the child by pointing to your belly and saying "baby". There really isn't any way to truly prepare them. However, you can't just NOT be around so much....you have to learn how to balance your attention between the two kids. I have had two myself and I was a single parent for 14 years of it. And I can tell you from experience that sometimes arranging time with your 16month old by taking them places where its just YOU and them...and have "you and them time". NO baby....just you and your 16 mo. old. You will have to take moments where you spend alone time with each child so that they do not feel that they have to compete for your attention. This is truly a challenge especially with working families/parents. Taking them on you and me outings or movies when they get older or do a project for you and them. And then when baby gets older, you can do the same by dividing your time 4 both
    wingsofaneagle6

    Answer by wingsofaneagle6 at 5:10 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • If he's a good father he can handle it. Ask at your doctor's and the hospital if there are any community services that can help you. Sometimes there are resources that they can recommend.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 5:11 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • At 16 months he will probably adapt to the situation pretty quickly. Preparing him in advance will probably not help much because he won't have the foresight to understand that you are talking to him about something that will happen at some unspecified future time... toddlers that age don't have a defined sense of time. I'm betting he will do fine with Dad while you're in the hospital... I always thought it would be a hard adjustment for my kids, but even at 26 month and 2.5 years (age of the kids when we added new babies) they adjusted pretty quickly to the new status quo.
    Freela

    Answer by Freela at 5:16 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • You don't until it happens. For a tot an hour is a long time. If you are talking about more than in a few days don't say anything. You can reherse. Take out the dolls and have your little one baby the baby and you do the same thing. Play at having another child there. Keep mentioning a new sibling is going to come. Make sure when you are well after the birth that you do spend as much time as you can with your oldest. Then have plans in place for who is with your child. Explaing the baby is sick and needs time with doctors is about all you can do, take the new older sibling past the hospital grounds since visiting is not an option. Point out his sibling is living there until he can come home. It is hard being split but no guilt! Do not feel bad. A good parent sometimes has her attention divided. Of course you will do the best you can. And snuggle time while resting is still quality time. Come home to nap with
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 5:36 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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