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Ex wives

my husband has been divorced for over 5 years and his youngest child is 24 and in Jail. The problem i am having is that my husband has a very passive personality and when his ex calls and talks to him about there 24 yr old son she talks crazy and he doesn't have the back bone to hang up and i don't know why he is so scared of her.
They were married 23 years and she was the BOSS! and she thinks she still is and I have been patient and nice to this women when we go visit his grandchildren but the final straw was the sat after Thanksgiving he went to the prison to visit his son but on the way stoped to pick up the ex-wife and took her.
I told him months ago he better not pick her her that she has a car and lives 2 hours closer to the prison than he does and she doesn't even work but behind my back he went to pick her up and I found out because he text messaged her and forgot to delete it and when i confronted him he of course denied it.
I havent talked to him since last Wed and don't know what to do but im very FED up with the B......help

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • The kid is 24 they no longer need to discuss how to raise him with each other. So they have no reason to even talk.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 5:43 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • why is he lying? is he hiding something? is there more to them 2 being together other then just a visit? would they be doing anything else?
    I mean why can't he just be straight up and honest and tell you he and the ex are going to visit their kid together...and why can't they visit together?
    If my 25 yr old step daughter was in prison I wouldn't care that my husband and his ex went to visit her but it would concern me that he had to lie about it ruining my trust with him
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • You know i would't have a problem with his ex however he seem to be scared of her and feels he needs to tell him everything in our lives as well as she calling him to chat about the past.
    I have been patient about that too but she is crossing the line and he won't stand up to her. I told him i didn't feel comfortable with him being with his ex because she is no good and is a trouble maker and she doesn't have a life of her own so she keeps calling my husband for dumb stuff and often....my ex doesn't call me he is the EX
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 5:57 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • We have been married 1 1/2 years and it's great except when she calls and tries to be nosy
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:03 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • oh shut up you knew what the hell you were in for before you said I DO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Whoever said that their child is 24 and they don't need to be talking is full of it... that "child" is locked up, and chances are the two of them are sending him money for his needs, and there's grandchildren involved, so they are forever linked together regardless of who likes it.
    HOWEVER... it was wrong of him to go against his wife and pick her up knowing that it would be a problem in his current marriage, and then lying or trying to lie about it... would be a major problem for me.
    I can only suggest that the calls be on speaker phone so you can hear what's being said (my guess is nothing is going on, but she won't like you listening and might stop calling), and I'd start going to those visits with him.
    I have a friend who was married for 22 years and his ex still calls him about all sorts of stuff, they were a team at one time... hard for me to understand, but they get along, he says they have to, they have kids/grandkids.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 7:14 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Its not ok that he lied to you. But as far as you telling him what to do, it's no different than the ex. Saying he can or cannot ride with her? You are also being controlling and bossy I pick up my ex for pt conferences and it is great for the kids. We may have divorced but we can still be friends and my dh isn't jealous of me doing that b/c he trusts me. Your dh probably knew you'd be jealous and didn't want to deal with it cuz it's not about her it's about their child, he is probably having a very hard time with his child being in jail, and the only person who understands and loves his child as much as he does is the childs mother. I understand it's hard not to take it the wrong way but I really think you are. You guys need to communicate. NOt talking for days is immature and hard on children.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 7:20 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • They have 23 years of history as opposed to 1 1/2 with you...of course they are going to talk. She knows him like the back of her hand. Come on...you didn't think that stepping into this would be completely smooth sailing.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:34 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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