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my dad is alcholic. he is either alwys going through with drawls ;or poison level hung over

he has no interet in getting sober. we have tried interventions.
today he called and told me he needs my help bc he has the " stomach flu" cant stop vomitnig. he is has done this before.. turns out he was just having bad with drwls
im not sure what to do bc if he is really sick like flu sick i want to help him
what would u do? thank u

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:12 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Well, first of all, I am sorry you are being put in that position. I am assuming you have your own family???? I am a person that believes in tough love. I saw my grandfather rip my mother's family apart because of alcoholism. Eventually he died from cirrhosis of the liver.  He wasn't willing to help himself.  What I remember the most about my grandfather is the times he interrupted MY family's togetherness.  Isn't that sad??  It's a tough situation.  If he's not willing to help himself, there really is not much you can do.   In the process, you are going to be wasting a lot of valuable time with your own immediate family- which in the long run will probably make them resentful.     I can't suggest anything to you, because honestly, I don't know what I would do.  Hopefully, someone can give you some great advice here.  My thoughts are with you.

    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 6:18 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Sweetheart if he is vomiting it could be a sign his liver is shutting down. Is his face and ankles swollen? His hands? Are his eyes yellow? I would get him to the ER asap! I just went through this with my son-and they go downhill fast when the liver goes-then the kidneys go...Thank God my son finally quit drinking and is slowly coming out of it! Get him to the ER ASAP.
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 6:19 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Is he going through withdraws because he is tryin to get sober or because he can't afford the booze, what about a program, rehab? Your the only one who can decide if the family you have created is worth being put through the family you were given. If it's fair to put yourself through it over and over. When your parents are all you have we let ourselves get dragged down by them but when we have our own children to think about it gets easier to let go of them. Truthfully the only person that can really help your dad is your dad. Maybe choosing not to be there this time will be the wake up call he needs.
    xbabygirlz

    Answer by xbabygirlz at 6:21 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I agree with Alice....especially if the vomit is brown. He could have bleeding in his stomach. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Both of my parents are alcoholics, but they haven't had a drink in about 10 years.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:22 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • how do u know the difference between the real flu. it is flu season. ?
    or just to much to drink. ive been suckered into helping him hung over at least 5 plus times. thiinking he ate something bad the flu. but now after being not so stuck with my head in the sand. im wondering. bc im 30 and im not going to go over to help a 70 yr old man who wont get sober. im more grown up then he is.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:23 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • ok true ALICE im not happy about it. but i will go over there and take him to the er. he is my dad i do love him bc he has had liver issues in the past. and i could nt live with myself if i just turned a cold shoulder on my own dad
    im changing and leaving now.
    i hope its the flu
    any way thank u!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:27 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • If you want to help him and just believe he is sick. He might be lying but that's on him not you. Do what you think is right.
    Aquarius80

    Answer by Aquarius80 at 6:45 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I know how you feel you love him and want to help him but he has to want to sober up and help himself first. My brother died at age 45 from alcohol and it was a ruff last year of his life. We talked to him when he was in and out of the hospital and he said he wanted to change and sober up but as soon as he got out he was back to drinking.
    My advise to you is prepare for the worst and pray for the best but always be there for him but not feeding his addition...hope this helps
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 7:03 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • It sounds just like my mother. I've given up on here and I don't bring her grandkids around her because she just leaves her drinks laying around the house where my kids can get to them. I personally would not go around him. I stop caring what my mother did to her body long time ago. Alcoholics are selfish and will only change if they want to. My mother is dying of liver failure yet she continues to drink. She won't stop for her grandkids. She was told if she stopped she'll live linger but she just doesn't care. So I'm letting her die on her own. My kids don't need to see that.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:07 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I'm a recovering alcoholic and I've been sober for four years come 01/01/11. Honey...it's probably a combination of everything that everyone has mentioned...withdrawals, hangover, liver shutdown, low immune system so it may also be the flu. Get him to a hospital that also have an addiction detox floor. While he's in the ER be straight with the doctor and maybe between all of you and the fact that there is already a place for him to get help there...he may go. But understand this, no one can help the alcoholic that doesn't want to help himself. If he's not ready, he will just relapse. Good luck!
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 8:25 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

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