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Update on Mother in law and a question:

I posted yesterday that I was having some problems with my mother in law being overbearing. Thank you for the advice my husband and I sat down and talked to her last night. I don't think it helped but we will see. I have a stepson and this is our weekend. Well she has taken the weekend off to spend time with him ( GREAT) we live 20 mins. I am almost 30wks pregnant and she thinks that we need to stay at her house all weekend b/c she took the weekend off. Ok Sleeping and resting is something that doesn't happen there for me b/c the bed isn't comfortable. How do I help my husband and her understand?? She will get to see her grandson all weekend?! Am I being selfish?? Should I shut my mouth and just go?? Or should I tell my husband that I don't think I can physically handle it?? I have a very busy week next and need to get some rest this weekend. Thank you

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 AM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • tell him you don't sleep well and would rather be in your own bed. you need to talk to him.
    jessicamelia83

    Answer by jessicamelia83 at 11:33 AM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • You should go and have a nice visit.And when it is dark thank her for her offer and tell her how kind she has been,But you would rather sleep in your own bed and you'll come back tomorrow.Let your husband decide which he'd rather do,,,stay with his son or go with you.And don't get mad at him if he stays.You will have a quiet child free house to go to.Enjoy your quiet time while you can.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:09 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I would tell my husband that I hope he and stepson have a nice visit at his mother's but that I am tired and want to sleep in my bed, do some errands, and be rested for my week ahead. The end, period. No arguing, no big to do. Just a simple statement of fact. And if hubby would like to send you some great Italian left overs when he gets back....even better. Read, stay in bed, watch television, scroll through the computer, take it easy. Take a breather from the family. AND establish your big girl boundaries NOW because when your baby arrives you need to set the tone that you are in charge of your body and your baby. NOT the grandma.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:22 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • cont..
    When MIL comes over unexpectantly or short notice say, "gee, I wish I had known sooner but I already made plans to go out shopping with the baby and some friends. Maybe hubby can stay with you." Then leave. Again there is no need to argue. Live your life, do as you please, and let your husband entertain if he so chooses. And he feels the need to tell her private information, cut off private/intimate time with the husband. Don't argue. Just state a fact. You want to include your mother in every aspect of our life, I don't. So I won't give you anything to talk to her about.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:25 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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