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How can I get my dh off the couch?

He is not the man I married. I specifically told him I didn't want a man who sat around and watched tv all the time. He works hard and works a lot, provides for his family but every night even on the weekends all he does is watch tv. He is fat now too and that really bothers me because it's not attractive to me. For better or for worse, am I just stuck with worse now? We've been together for 10 years. I talk to him about this all the time and we just end up fighting. I want him to be healthy and happy and set a good example for our kids. HELP!


Asked by Anonymous at 8:40 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • How about asking him to join you in going for a walk or a bike ride? Or even join a gym together? And if you're the one doing the grocery-shopping and cooking, you can leave out the junk food and start cooking more healthy meals for everyone. That'll be a good example for both your husband and your children.

    Answer by ceallaigh at 8:42 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I have the same situation as you.He has gotten very lazy when he wasn't before.He used to know how to cook, clean ,fix things, make coffee, do laundry when he was single.But he won't do it now.He won't say it but I think he thinks it is my job if I don't do it , we live in a nasty pig sty.So I do it.Mine does it when he thinks I am going to end our marriage.

    Answer by evelynwest at 8:53 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • my hubby is lazy too! but he has depression so every day is a struggle with him! im lucky to get him out of bed most days! we have seen the doc a lot and i think these new meds are working finally! since i buy all the food i dont buy junk food and we are eating a lot more healthier too! i walk on the treadmill while dd takes a nap so i have asked hubby to lift weights while i walk! we get some alone time while we are working out! my hubby likes to relax for an hour when he gets home for an hour but normally it turns into 5! everyday is different! good luck! if u find some magic that works let me know!

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 9:01 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • i have a lazy husband to unless its hunting season. The best thing to do is get active in something hes intrested in if that don't work give him a good swift kick in the butt lol

    Answer by julieD280 at 9:05 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • it sucks so bad b/c ya he's depressed but it's cuz he's not healthy. Who wouldn't be depressed if all they did was work and watch tv? He never takes me out on dates or even talks to me beyond shit we have to discuss like we are room mates. There is no spark anymore. The only time I want sex is when I'm ovulating, he never really does. His libido sucks. I'm not happy and I want more but don't know what to do.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:16 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • Yeah my husband felt that way about me. I was not what most people would call fat but he would. I am loosing weight now because I had high cholesterol and triglycerides. I can tell you what won't work. Nagging. He has to find the motivation in himself to do it. You could cook healthier meals and not purchase any junk food. (if you do ) It is difficult but if you love him for who he is then work it out. If you simply don't love a man because it is done for you then you have to move on.
    Think hard about this because men have been doing this for years in "Hollywood" they get done with the starter wife and move on to the trophy wife. If you are true and honest then and only then will you be able to move on.

    Answer by mmmegan38 at 10:02 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I don't have that problem, but if I did, I'd plan a date myself and just tell him something like, "Oh, I got us a babysitter for Friday night, I'll meet you at _________________ as soon as you're off work." Then show up in something meant to make heads turn. Flirt with him over dinner and then go to a movie or something and grope at him through his clothes through it. He should be interested by the time you get home.

    Answer by meganbearden at 10:11 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • My husband does this too! Except we've only been together for 4 years. How can I be attracted to an attachment of the couch? I asked a question about my marriage being in a rut last night and 2 women give me the book "The love dare" and "5 love languages". I ordered the love dare for me and 5 love languages for him. We'll see if there is any improvement..

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 10:19 PM on Dec. 4, 2010