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sahm question

I am a SAHM. I expect my husband to help around the house to an extent. I don't understand some moms saying the dh works all day, he shouldn't have to when he gets home. We work all day too. We just don't get paid money for it. How much will it cost to pay for a chef, house cleaner, laundry aide and nanny? I feel like it's only fair. Any thoughts?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Dec. 4, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I try to get my DH to help but I usually end up even doing the "man" jobs. I also worked full time until September of this year and I have been a full time student for the past 6 years. He has never helped.

    Answer by ashisamom at 9:35 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • the only things I ask my husband to do is take the trash to the curb on trash night and mow the lawn ...and obviously pick up after himself (clothes in the hamper, dishes in the sink) other than that I dont really ask him to do much. He works 12+ hrs a day so I dont expect him to come home and work too. I see the house and kids as my job.....yes my job is 24 hrs a day 7 days a week...but if I want to take a day off and not sweep or mop or if I skip the dishes for a day he is not going to say a word about it. I rarely ask him to help around the house and if I do its usually something that I cant do myself like move the furniture around. He does like to grill so he makes dinner on occasion but I dont expect him to do much around the house. If I had a job outside the home though (and when I did) I would fully expect him to share the household duties.

    Answer by foxracing43701 at 9:44 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I have to say, I am in agreement that he works all day & I am here so why should he do a lot here? He does do some things on the days he does not work though. He vacuums every weekend for me. He always makes sure the cars have the oil changed. He helps me with the kids in..if they need something & he is more available he helps them. On the weekends he gives them a bath if I ask. He takes the trash to the garage for me. Oldest son takes it out to the curb though..part of his chore. But I do not expect him to do laundry or wash dishes. Or cook for the family. Some weekends we do a "do it yourself" in..if your old enough to use the microwave, you make yourself dinner thing. I do feel my job is here & his job is out there. It works for us.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I agree dad does need to help.. My hubby helps out a lot. I love it becuase when I leave and come back home after several hours and NOTHING IS DONE I ask why not? When I am home I still have to get things done, why can't you? He looks at me and says "I don't know how you do it!" I love those words! lol but he really does help out a lot!

    Answer by randilinn at 9:39 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • SO is just plain 'ol lazy. He doesnt avoid chores because he thinks it's a "woman's job". He knows in his head I'll do the chores so I guess he assumes he doesnt have to, no matter how much I ask him for help. He does the yard work and is a great mr. fix-it, he is also a wonderful cook. But vacuuming, laundry, dishes, etc.....all on me. And because it's all on me nothing is never perfect so we have a lot of clutter in the house

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 9:42 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I'm having this problem too, but I work part-time too. Yes it's not as much as him, but I feel like I'm drowning. He goes to work, comes home and lays on the couch. Then goes to sleep around 8 for his nightly 10 hours of sleep. UGH!!!! Not fair at all!

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 9:44 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • All I have to say is FUCK THAT NOISE! For the moms who think that children are "THEIR" job.. Shame on you.
    My son is 15m old and doesnt give a shit that his dad works 50-60hrs a week @ the end of the day he still wants dad to hold him & spend more than 5m with him- so that usually means my husband has to feed him, bathe, or get him dressed on his way out the door to work.
    My husband also isnt handicapped and has learned that on his way out of our room and out the back door .. if he wants a load of clean laundry he better drop it in the washer on his way out..

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 9:51 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • I believe both parents should help out with chores, taking care of the kids. Even if they work full-time. You had kids, so its your responsibility to look after them. Whether it be bathing, cleaning them, feeding, etc.

    Answer by ChildGoddess at 9:56 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • i feel you i promise i do

    Answer by Sky_Mom at 10:00 PM on Dec. 4, 2010

  • My DH works 6 days 12 hours a day. I do not expect him to help around the house, and feel guilty when he does. The only thing I expect him to do is help out with the kids, and he does. The only thing he doesn't do is nurse the baby. But I don't have to ask him to change diapers or give baths, and he will make food for them. They are half his and he should do some of the work. After all, I take care of them when he is not here.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 10:20 PM on Dec. 4, 2010