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My husband said he needs time, I can bare to stay in the same house anymore for wanting him, don't want to interrupt my kids lives, should I leave the kids with him and temporarily move out?

I am an alcoholic, 66 days sober. My husband decided "he needed time" and has stopped talking to me. I am emotionally up and down, I can't seem to give him his time and tend to find ways to talk to him. He is pulling farther away emotionally daily. We live in the same house and have been together 20 years, 16 married. I don't want to force my kids to leave school and my only option to leave is to stay out of state with my mother at this time. I feel my best option for "me" is to leave for a while. But I'm afraid of hurting my kids emotionally and/or losing custody if he decides to divorce. We both need time but emotionally I can't seem to be around him without pushing him farther away - I need advice please

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rulcru

Asked by rulcru at 12:45 AM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • do what you think is best for youre kids,
    jov123

    Answer by jov123 at 12:50 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • That's hard. It sounds like there are risks to both. What you have to do is look at the pros and cons of each decision and weigh them logically. If you go, you might risk hurting your kids, if you stay, you'll likely drive your husband away, which will definitely hurt your kids.... Definitely I don't know all the details, but sometimes you have to take risks in order to try to save what's most important. Good luck!
    Adelicious

    Answer by Adelicious at 12:57 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • How long were you drunk before you got sober? Is he having problems adjusting to the real you? Congratulations honey on your sobriety! I know it's hard-especially when you are stressed. Hang tough sweetie! You can do this-and he will realize that it is for permanent as you get further into your sobriety! You have to realize that this is new territory for him too. And I am sure that part of him is terrified that you will start drinking again! So you need to build trust again with him-because as an alcoholic you chose your drink over him every time you picked it up! Good luck and God Bless! Are you working a twelve step program? You need to find a sponsor by going to AA meetings and work the program. It will help you stay sober and help you in your family relationships too!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:26 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Talk to a counselor for advice on what's best for your recovery and a lawyer on how to protect your martial and parental rights. Congrats on 66 days keep up the great work.

    mrsljamieson

    Answer by mrsljamieson at 2:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I'd call a family meeting. The family has endured the chaos of alcoholism so now the family should be consulted on how to deal with this. If you leave, make sure you verbally tell the kids you are not abandoning them. I would not make this decision alone and even though you are asking us, it's the family who should be answering you, not strangers who don't have to live with the aftermath.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • p.s. Congrats on the 66 days
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • He's the one that needs time, tell him to stay else where
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:16 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

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