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2 Bumps

My husband is talking to his girlfirend from when we were separated

my husband has been talking to his ex-girlfriend from when we were separated 5 years ago off and on. I recently saw emails, txts and phone calls. He says that nothing has happened and he is merely being friends. He was on the phone once for hour and half last week. He says everything is fine now and if I am insecure he cannot do anything about it and that I will always be insecure. I asked him to write her an email and cc me telling her that he has not intention of going back to her and loves his wife and kids and cc me on it. He will not do it. I don't think he has had any physical relationship with her since we got together. She has written in her emails to him how she is saddened that he chooses to live in a marriage of antipathy. She says to him that the kids need to be in an environment of love and support to grow up to me good men. They are 14 and 17 now. He sent her pictures of the kids recently from his phone.Pls help.

 
inlimbo20

Asked by inlimbo20 at 1:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • when a person is cheating, they will blame YOU or make you think YOU have problem.....i have been there instead he told me that i was needy. if he does not give you the respect you deserve and earn.....then moved because you are letting your kids know that cheating is ok. give him a chance since he is the father of your kids but if he is not willing then move on and be with a person that actually want to be with you.
    roxy92si

    Answer by roxy92si at 1:55 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Some ppl "want their cake & eat it, too" and that appears what your dh is doing. He shouldn't be communicating w/another woman that he previously has had ANY kind of romantic relationship with. All ties should be severed so that he can re-establish a relationship of trust w/you!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 1:29 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Umm that kind of sounds weird that he dont wanna mention you in his emails to her or he dont want you writing to her i completely agree with katie80620 he is interested in his ex girlfriend still and is not being completely honest with you about anything you should really sit down and have a serious talk about this cus if not hes gonna keep talking to her and its gonna ruin your marriage also were yall married when yall were on and off and he was with her ..
    alexia_09

    Answer by alexia_09 at 1:14 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Oh wow, this is soo disrespectful to you. In my opinion if he really cared about you and your feelings he would support you and back you up. He should not allow somebody to talk bad about his marriage and I shudder to say this (I don't like to make these comments about situations that I don't know BUT) it sounds to me like he is not happy. A happily married man (imo) would not let anybody say bad things about their marriage.
    I know how you feel. If you demand for him to stop communication you push him closer to her, but you can't allow this situation to keep on. I would say that you need to decide what you want to come of this. If you are willing to leave, sit him down and tell him how you feel. Be strong and stand your ground. Don't make promises or threats that you can't keep. If you want to stay together, I don't know what to say other than telling him you want this to stop and it's very hurtful to you.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 1:15 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • You might also want to get to the root of his problems. If he isn't happy, he most likely was not happy before her. She is not the cause but a symptom, you know what I mean.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 1:17 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • So, to him, talking to her is more important than keeping his marriage healthy? No one would be okay with being in yoir position, and I he can't see that, then he needs to make a choice. Her or you. Period. Any friendship that makes you this uncomfortable (especially considering the circumstances) should be abandoned for the sake of preserving your marriage. I agree with these guys that he's being extremely disrespectful of you and your marriage. I don't think he's being honest with you, and I think he likes the attention and the sense of being wanted by this other woman that he knows he could have. Again, I think he needs to make a decision and stick to it- soon. Good luck, mama!
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 1:22 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think you should consult a lawyer to protect your and your children future financial security. Since you can not control him, why not take this opportunity to explore what you really want out of life. Is this the only issue between the two of you? Maybe if he sees that you are moving on with life, he will let go of  what once was and move on with you. Personally, my husband and I do not have friends of the opposite sex but we are probably old fashion that way. I wish you and your children every happiness.

    mrsljamieson

    Answer by mrsljamieson at 1:40 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • he is very disrespectful. keep your eyes open. if i were u i would turn into a PI. trust your instincts. i would find it very difficult to trust him at this point.
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 3:27 AM on Dec. 5, 2010