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3 Bumps

What do you think about women who stay with husbands they don't love "for the kids"?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:58 AM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • They are wasting a life and harming their kids.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:59 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think that in most cases this can be the WORST possible reason to stay! Kids can sense when things are a little "off"or when their parents are not happy..and it effects them more than some people know!
    Ctink8189

    Answer by Ctink8189 at 8:00 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think of my MIL and mom.
    purpleducky

    Answer by purpleducky at 8:04 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think that the women are cheating themselves and the children. Why stay in an unhappy marriage and make life miserable for everyone? Cut the ties and get on with life. There are men out there that are worth the few moments of hardship for a lifetime of bliss.
    yellarose

    Answer by yellarose at 8:11 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • my sis is in that situation, and it makes me so sad!! she is such a beautiful, nice, funny, outgoing woman and could do SOOO much better. her kids are 9 and 7, the 9yr old is like the smartest kid in the world, and yet, when ya start talkin to her, its so sad to hear her talk about mom n dad fighting, and yaaaa its just not right!! not fair to the kids at all!! kids arent dumb, they know whats going on!
    alexis_06

    Answer by alexis_06 at 8:27 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think they have been raised to believe that divorce causes psychological damage to children and they love their children and do not want to do that to them.
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 8:28 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • It really depends on the situation. Sometimes ppl can get along and are doing it for financial reasons. My parents stayed together for me and my sister and things were fine. I agree that it would have been better off for them both to divorce but my sister and I had a great childhood. Just wished they wouldve done it for themselves and not us. But I appreciate them taking us into consideration.
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:38 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I say it sounds like me. We don't fight and get along well. I just know we could both be happier if we divorce. One of our daughters is mentally disabled and any change is bad for her. Also, we couldn't survive without both of us living together right now. I have thought many times about asking for a divorce but that would only make us more miserable at this point in time.
    ashisamom

    Answer by ashisamom at 8:47 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think that they are wise for not putting their happiness above the needs of their children. Marriage is meant for so much more than our romantic notions and selfish desires. If there is no abuse or infidelity, why put your kids through a divorce? Why disrupt their little worlds and change their view of commitment just to pursue something you may not find anyway?
    Lexylex

    Answer by Lexylex at 8:47 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Lexy, kids can sense when there is no love.  Imagine how uncomfortable a home is when a five year old realizes that there is no love.  You think it will change a child's idea of commitment which can be true, but if they stay, it teaches kids that love doesn't matter? It teachers kids that no matter how you feel suck it up and keep it to yourself.  That kind of attitude and thinking leads to other problems.  I don't think that people should stay together "for the kids".  That leads to resentment and hate and eventually leads to disrespect.  Can you stay with a man you don't love for 20 years and not resent him?  Can you live knowing that your perfect mate is out there but you couldn't find him because you were stuck because of the kids?  I think resentment would fall on more than just the spouse. 

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:23 AM on Dec. 5, 2010

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