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HELP????? WHAT SHOULD I DO????

I am currently in a complicated situation. I am currently seperated from my husband. He lives with his mom now. We have a 4 month old daughter together. His 15 yr old brother is autistic. His behavior is unpredictable and he can be aggressive at times. I went over to his mother's house one time to bring the baby over for a visit when she was about 6 weeks old. The brother swung on me twice. He also began to want to fight my husband while he was holding our daughter and my husband had to put his foot out to stop him from getting too close. I immediately left after that. I have not brought the baby over there again to see the grandmother due to this. She has been asking to see her and I have been avoiding this. Finally, I expressed my concerns to her. I stated that I dont feel comfortable bring the baby over due to the unpredicable behavior and that it concerns me and I just want to ensure the safety of my child. I offered her other ways to see her, either by coming to my home or us meeting in a neutral location. She just stated she doesnt think he would harm her in anyway because she has friends who have kids and he doesnt do anything to them. That didnt make me feel any better. Also my husband must feel the same way since there was a time I was close by his house and he told me his brother was home and I asked him if he would behave and he said "You know how he is already,I will just see you guys in the car". Now my husband is very upset with me and his mother, they think im keeping the baby away from them. It isnt that, I just dont feel comfortable with the impulsive behavior around my daughter. I dont want anything to happen to her. I work with people with dissabilities for the past 6 yrs so I know how the behavior can be with a child with special needs. Also in the past, when noone was around, the brother groped me and snatched juice out of my hand and swung on me as well. He also got in trouble in school for trying to grope a teacher. I know his mother said laughing is one of his triggers. IDK wat to do,,I feel like im stuck between a rock and a hard place. Should I try to bring her over so she can have a relationship with the other side of her family? or should I stick to my grounds and protect my child from any possibilities? PLEASE HELPPPPPP

Answer Question
 
Janellemommy82

Asked by Janellemommy82 at 1:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • If they are concerned for the child, and want to see her bad enough they will make arrangements so she's as safe as possible. I wouldn't stress over it, and just let them know you would be happy to have them over, or meet them somewhere.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 1:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • protect your child at all costs
    MaybeMommy1994

    Answer by MaybeMommy1994 at 1:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like your being reasonable by trying to meet in another place. Is there a time you could stop by when his bro isn't around??
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 1:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • dO YOU THINK IM BEING UNFAIR?
    Janellemommy82

    Comment by Janellemommy82 (original poster) at 1:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I would tell them that you've already offered to meet them somewhere or have them come over. For one, it isn't your place to always come to them. They can come to you also. For two, I'd rather be safe than sorry.

    Stick your grounds. Tell them they can see her without the brother around for her safety or they can not se her at all.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 1:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Only have them visit in public places so they wouldnt want to cause any attention to them slef if they decied to swing again or even attact.
    mommayoder

    Answer by mommayoder at 1:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I woulld not put the baby in an unpredictable and dangerous situation. U r doing the right thing. If she want to see the baby bad enough,she will agree to the arrangements. Stick to your guns and good luck!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:27 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • YES HE GOES TO SCHOOL BUT HIS MOM WORKS DURING THOSE HOURS...MY HUSBAND COMES HERE TO SEE HER ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK SO I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY HE CANT BRING HIS MOM ONE TIME. SHE FEELS I SHOULD BRING THE BABY TO HER HOUSE CUZ SHES THE GRANDMA.
    Janellemommy82

    Comment by Janellemommy82 (original poster) at 1:27 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • No, u r not being unfair. She is!!!! Sounds like she is unwilling to budge. Sounds like it is her way!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Yeah! She is grandma,but u r the mom trying to keep your baby as safe as possible. That excuse she uses cuz shes the grandma is so old!!!! U r the mom and u trump the saying about grandma!!!! Do not give in. She will get mad,but,she will get over it!!!!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:31 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

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