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3 Bumps

How Can I Heal?

I am in a very odd situation. My marriage has fallen apart. For comfort I've been leaning on my friends. Well, now I've developed feelings for one of my guy friends and a different guy friend has developed feelings for me. They comfort me but should I cut ties with them to try to heal properly?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Yes. I think that before you start into another relationship, you should give yourself time to heal. That way, when you do go into a relationship, it's not for the wrong reasons.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • No.

    You are at high risk of rushing into anything at all to fill the empty space... but you won't heal because you're not having a relationship. You heal because you find something more valuable to do with the inside of your head, and leave the past in the past.

    As you may have guessed, some people never figure that out.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 2:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Yes. You need to heal and make decisions based on you right now and feelings for others can confuse you. Also you so desperately want to be loved as your marriage falls apart so I would not trust your feelings right now. Give your self time, be sure the marriage is over and get to a place that you feel strong and confident again.
    chris219

    Answer by chris219 at 2:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I would not let anything develop at this point. Its always good to have a good friend to be there and offer comfort. At this time the last thing you should want is a relationship right after a break up, if it does not work out thats just more to dwell on and become depressed about.
    KayGia0704

    Answer by KayGia0704 at 2:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think because ur situation at home is not so great u see the greatness in these other guys. They may just be "rebound" guys for you not the real thing. And if they are the real thing you should take time to see how your current marriage goes (divorce or whaterver) and take some YOU time. Get to know you again and what you like. Then you get back on the dating scene. While u are discovering you get you "some" but the main goal is to get back to you and doing what you want. God Bless.
    Jazmineamomma

    Answer by Jazmineamomma at 2:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Before I go further.

    You state that your marriage has fallen apart. Are you divorcing? Or Are you trying to workout the issues and rebuild your marriage?

    Whether or not you should cut off relations with these other 2 men greatly depends on what your plans are in regards to your marriage.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 3:21 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • You need to be ok with you before you can be ok in any relationship. You've come to rely on these people for comfort, for "ok" ... it's not a good idea to be involved with anyone at this point.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 5:40 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • yes sweetie you should take it slow work on you first & if your divorced dont rush into anything make sure your doing this for the right reason
    Ricanmami1

    Answer by Ricanmami1 at 6:52 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

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