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i have seen posts on here that women would leave father of children if...

i have read some posts/questions/answers that are women who stay because he is a good provider for family, but they would like to be without him
some say "I would leave but we have children and he is a good provider"
if he did not make much money at all, would this make it easier to leave?
does it depend on how much money he brings home?

is this not selling yourself and your kids out


Asked by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • As much as I like for a couple to try to work things out before calling it quits, I do disagree with woman staying with the father of the children just because he's a great provider. I have a friend whose going through this right now. Her husband has slept with several women and he's not letting up, but she says that she doesn't want to take the kids from their father and she doesn't have the means to provide for the kids by herself. Even though I frown upon her decision, it's none of my business and I have no way of helping her to remove herself from the situation, so I just don't say anything. When the women who are putting themselves through this decide to strive for something better, because there are ways of getting help and getting on your feet as a single mom, then they can say they did it for themselves & their kids... not because someone told her to. I think she'll feel better about the outcome.

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 4:07 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I can see both sides. I can see why some women stay because some such as myself have no where to go. The economy is down a and its very hard to find a job. Why would a woman leave with kids if she has no job and no where to go? Sometimes you have to suck it up and do what's best for the child and if living in a loveless marriage for a little while till things get better then that's what they have to do. It's either that or leave on the streets. What would you pick?

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:22 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I agree. I am over a thousand miles away from family. I have no job and a toddler with my SO. Even if I wanted to leave, we would be on our behinds with nothing. It's not about being money hungry or selling you and your children out... it's about reality.

    Answer by ANGIE613 at 3:26 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • If I left right now I would be homeless... So between a cold and hungry toddler or sucking it up for awhile I choose my child... I put him before myself, no questions asked... I think you're being a little critical, until you walk in someone's shoes don't judge

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • deep down some are afraid of dying alone

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:20 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Some woman just can't afford to live by theirself. Not on one income. Even with child support sometimes it is hard. I have one friend that won't leave because she couldn't pay the bills. I think it is sad.

    Answer by arenad at 3:21 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Well, if he's not beating you and the kids are used to having things a certain way, I can see how it would be hard to leave and have very little.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 3:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I can see not wanting to leave. I'm a SAHM mom and he works. I am working on a degree. However, if we were to get a divorce, technically he is the better provider and could get the kids. I would stay for a short time until I could provide for my kids, but I would not stay forever. My happiness means almost as much as my kids happiness. I would not stay. But that is me. I can see the other point, but like I said, I would do what it takes to keep me happy.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 3:34 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think you're being a little critical, until you walk in someone's shoes don't judge
    I did leave, he did not make huge amount of money, but I had to move in with my mother, I was SAHM, no money at all,
    but also
    he was not a good person, and could not see raising our child with him as an example of what a man/father/partner should be
    I was not trying to place judgement, just thought in this economy, anyone can lose job and be broke quickly, wondered if money was not the issue, would some women leave sooner. If he was broke, and leaving would be broke too, then money is a factor in staying

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:43 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I left my ex even though I had been a SAHM for 8 years at that point, and had 3 kids. M parents offered to let me move in with them, but I felt like I needed to find my own way. Was it hard? Yes. Is my life better now? Yes. I know that I am smart enough and strong enough to do what I need to in order to ensure my kids have a good life and not have to live in a house with unhappy parents.

    Answer by missanc at 4:05 PM on Dec. 5, 2010