Maybe take her out for a day with you, like somewhere fun such as the zoo or something. Have a good day and make her feel really comfortable with you, then on the way back just kind of slip in the question of what's been up lately? It's just a way to get her relaxed enough to talk to you :). Good luck.
You can't force her to talk to you....so in my personal opinion I think the best option is to just tell her that you can see that something is bothering her, that you love her and are willing to listen to anything she needs to talk about without judging or punishing her. I would also let her know that if she can't talk to you and would feel better going to talk to a counselor, then you are ok with that also.
she might be scared that whatever is bothering her might upset you or make you angry. Just let her know that you are there for her no matter what and try not to scold or judge her. It's so tough to be a kid now days...
at 3:01 PM on Nov. 6, 2008
Let her know that you are there for her if she needs to and then leave her alone. You are never going to be able to force her to talk to you. If you continually ask her then she may clam up even more.
She may just need some space to think and then she will come to you. If there is someone else in her life that she might talk to you could ask them to try or let her know that if she can not talk to you she can talk to them.
Ice cream loosens the tongue...don't be the one starting with a barage of questions either. Tell about somethings that are bothering you and see if she can help...maybe that will let her see your lead. REpeat. Repeat. Repeat.