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Does this sounds selffish?

My bf and I have been together for 3yrs and we have a 7mth old baby girl together and live together. My birthday is on Fri and he had asked me a few months ago what I wanted for my b-day and for x-mas......I told him a ring!! So today I got my b-day and x-mas present together.......a dishwasher!!!!! I almost cried! I felt like it was a huge slap in my face!!!! I didn't even want one in the first place!!
Am I wrong for feeling this way?? How would you feel if this happened to you. I just feel that he doesn't view me as marriage material at all. He made a comment that well the gift is for everyone. That made me even feel worse!!

Should I say something to him about this?? I honestly don't care if I didn't get a ring but a dishwasher......come one now!!!

Please don't respond to this if you don't have anything noce to say, as I really don't need that right now!


Asked by newlifewith3 at 6:43 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 5 (67 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I think the dishwasher isnt what hes planning on giving you. If the ring dosent come by christmas or new years, then iccckkk. You should talk to him by then. Tell him what your hopes were for your guys future, and if thats not what he wants, then maybe its best if you guys arent together. You want someone who WANTS to marry you, and is excited to give you a ring. Not a guy who you have to ask for a ring, you know?
    good luck!

    Answer by kay526 at 9:43 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • No, it isn't selfish.. He did ask you what you wanted. That makes it worse. IMO. hug

    Answer by elizabr at 7:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think that if he gave you a joint gift now that means that the ring will come on Christmas!! Thats what I think...but it could be me living through you lol

    Answer by Steph319 at 6:46 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Awww! That sucks!
    Sorry,but in my opinions its true,he doesn't plan on marrying you

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 6:46 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I doubt that he was trying to hurt you with that gift,he probably thought he was doing something wonderful to help you out. Men, God love em, just don't see things the way women do. Don't wait for him to "figure out" that you are upset about it, because he never will unless you tell him , but be respectful abou tit. Good luck!

    Answer by micurdal at 6:49 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I would be a little upset. A DISHWASHER?!?!!? Yeah I'd be bummed and would probably mention that at the least he could have gotten something special just for you, even if it wasn't a ring. Don't worry about the ring, I'm sure he wants it to be a surprise and he's waiting for the right moment to pop the question. ;)

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 7:14 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Don't get all worked up, he might have something planned for later. However, you can't really judge how he feels about you in regards to marriage if you don't talk about it with him. Ask him why he decided the dishwasher over the ring, or why the dishwasher at all. I'd be estatic to have recieved a dishwasher. Though, I'm not going to lie, I would be dissapointed it wasn't what I had initially asked for. Just talk to the guy and see wher ehis head is at. Don't beat him up out of dissapointment, because he may really have been thinking of you when he got it. Just casually ask about why it wasn't a ring .. and why it was a dishwasher.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:31 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I really don't get the whole forcing a man to marry you thing. I'd hate to think that the only reason I got a ring was that I asked for it and not that he truly wanted to give it to me.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 7:44 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I would wait until Christmas and just see-maybe the Dishwasher is a decoy gift and the ring is yet to come? I am optimistic though. If Christmas comes and still no ring then you need to make some choices. I don't look at it as you forcing him to marry you the way I look at it is that he is getting everything that a married man gets from his wife while you still don't get your beautiful wedding. You have been together for 3 years have a child together and are living together-if he isn't sure he wants to be married at this point then I am sorry to say that he probably isn't 'the one' but it is unfair to you to give him everything that he wants out of the relationship when you don't get the one big thing that you want.

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 8:59 PM on Dec. 5, 2010