Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Burdening mom...

Ok, heres the sitch, my mom raised my son for 7 months while i was deployed. monetarily during that time, in short, she robbed me of my money and used it to buy a car, when it was for my son. anyway, this year for Christmas, she wants to take my son away for a week to a difernt state until xmas eve. she made flight plans and such based on this plan before i even said yes. however, i said no, she cant have him bc he is on a schedule (and as a spoiling grandma, she ruins progress). she got mad at me, saying "after all ive done for you..." My stepdad and her have become emotionally dependent on my son, and she makes me feel obligated to do things for HER. Its not like she WONT see him for christmas. she is mad at me at the moment. What should i do? Is this all wrong? what do you think of this situation?

Answer Question
 
soldiermom1986

Asked by soldiermom1986 at 7:06 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Holidays

Level 9 (308 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • She raised your son for 7 months and she got a car out of it. Hes is your child.
    Misteh

    Answer by Misteh at 7:11 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think you need to set her straight (nicely of course). You are the mom and just because she took care of your son for seven months because you were fighting for our country does not make her entitled to him whenever she wants. If she took care of him just so she can have him whenever she wants than she did it for the wrong reason. Its not like you were on drugs or in jail you were deployed for christs sake.
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 7:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • You just need to explain to mom that now it is your turn to mother, and just like she did not like interference about how to bring you up, neither do you. Explain to her that it is not fair that she gets mad because you want your son to stay with you, being grateful to what she has done does not mean you have to bend over backwards for something as important as raising your kid in the manner you see fit. Now on the same note, being grandparents some seem to think that they are allowed to spoil, and to some extent it is true, but if she just remembers back when she was in your shoes, she might realize that this is not something to get mad about.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2010


  • You have every right to say No to her.He is your son not her's.

    Tikismom

    Answer by Tikismom at 7:14 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • You should've sued her for using the money to buy a car instead of using it for your son. She STOLE from you.
    Secondly, you have aboslutely no obligation to her at all. That is YOUR child, not hers. You do not have to allow her any visitation at all if you so choose, but especially have no right to allow her to take him off for a week. I think that you should stick to what you've told her and not allow her to take him off with her. Like you said, she's emotionally depndent on him and she's only taking advantage of you. I think that she needs to be told "No" and it stay that way.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:18 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN