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2 Bumps

How do I prove my ex is not fit to raise our daughter?

Long story and to long for me to explain why he got custody. It really makes no sense. Anyway my lil girl comes to see me and everytime she has bruises always in places you would not see unless you gave her a bath or pulled back her bangs. She also has her privates raw everytime I get her. I have called Child rotective services and even showed them the pictures of her bruises and nothing. Something is not right and nobody listens. She wears shoes that are 2 sizes to big and her clothes do not fit her proper. She is never dressed for the weather and he does not brush her hair. Nobody listens and I do not have the money for an expensive attorney. I just want her to be safe and taken care of. Please help give me some hope.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:17 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (16)
  • Her privates are raw? How old is she?

    Answer by Misteh at 7:18 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Call police, call everyone. and you dont have to pay an attorney, normaly, unless they win your case. so look into it. Id live in a box to save my child from what it sounds like shes going through. save her from that situation, whoever you talk to, whatever you do.

    Answer by soldiermom1986 at 7:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Are you like saying he doesn't use diaper creams or vasoline after changing her...

    we need a little bit more details. why did he get custody, they would have told you.

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 7:27 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I agree with "soldiermom1986" he has no business having your child. I don't know where you live but somebody needs to step in. I have never heard of protective services not stepping in and at least doing an in home study and asking the child questions (if she is old enough).

    Answer by TinyDancer13 at 7:32 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Does she go to daycare? Or who watches her? maybe you need help from that person/ program....if they are seeing the same things that you do. It's very difficult in a custody case to have people listen to the non-custodial parent.
    How old is your dd?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • He got custody for a reason. It may not be a valid reason anymore, but there was a reason. And CPS investigates allegations, even taking a child to see a dr. for an evaluation if they suspect it's necessary.
    If there's a reason he shouldn't have custody, it doesn't guarantee that she'd go back to you - not if they feel that she shouldn't be there.
    Additionally, I'm not sure why you'd have photographs of bruises - if she had bruises that made you uncomfortable, why didn't you take her to the dr. yourself? Dr's are mandated reporters and would, by law, be required to file a complaint with CPS if they suspected abuse - and a dr. would have more credibility than a noncustodial parent who's looking to regain custody.

    Answer by Gaccck at 7:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • There is a chance that it may be the authorities will think you're trying to "coach" her to talk bad about her dad or that he's prewarned that you may make malicious reports. That said there should still be SOME form of investigation. If you can't afford an attorny perhaps look into a councelor or doctor whom you can take her to to look her over and give a report. They might be able to ignore you thinking he's abusing her but if a medical professional makes the report then they'll have no choice.
    There should be some slide scale doctors in your area I'd think.

    Answer by JadeRDragosani at 7:45 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • next time you have her take her immediately to the doctor. With her privates being raw is it external or internal? As far as the issue with her shoes and clothes could he be sending her in the stuff that he thinks are "disposable" so that if they get ruined it doesn't really matter? I don't know it's a long shot. Other than that I would just make a HUGE stink.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 8:06 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Also if you call in another CPS report do it annon. If you say that your her mom they will think you're just a jealous ex trying to cause problems.

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 8:07 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Ok let's see I left him for abusing my son his step son, He was convicted of using drugs other than marajuana. He had a total of 30 counts and he plead guilty to a lesser charge so he would not be in prison long. He got time served probation with random drug testing. The detectives who investigated my sons abuse were devastated. They spoke to my son and took pictures. CPS did there investigation and because they could not figure out what object was used they deemed it inconclusive. He and his family have connections I live in a small town. He said if I ever left he would take her from me. That is why I stayed untilTh e incident with my son happened. The judge who did my case was on investagation for criminal charges as he slashed a ladies tires in the parking lot for parking in the spot he liked.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

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