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How do you handle a BAD day???

I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

I am a stay at home mom of two... they are four and five, and I've been with my boyfriend Chris for about four years. I love my family more than life itself, but lately I am just getting WORE OUT!!!!

I cook, and clean ALL day. And I get NOTHING from my family in return. I feel like I am everyone's cook, maid and babysitter!!! My kids wont listen to me. NO ONE picks up after themself. I just feel really disrespected and unappreciated. They ALL leave their clothes in the middle of the floor, and dishes wherever they want. I'm the only one who takes care of the house, kids or pets. My kids refuse to clean their rooms, so I eventually end up doing that too. When we have company over... and am the one stuck cleaning the whole house by myself, ever when Chris is home. God forbid I ask him to do ANYTHING. He'll tell me "give me a minute" and NEVER does it. Then if I ask him again to do it, he gets mad. They're all picky eaters. There are only about 3-5 meals that will satisfy everyone, and if I make anything else, someone is bound to throw a fit... not just the kids either.

If it wasn't for preschool and kindergarten, I'd NEVER get a break!  I do EVERYTHING with my family, or at lest the kids.  Everything!!!!  Every where I go, I always have them.  I can't get grocery's by myself.  Or if I do Chris called every 10 minites to see when I'll be back, or I come home to a huge MESS.  And he always says, "I didn't see them do it."  My kids wake up EARLY, between 6 & 7 am.  I am teh ONLY one who gets up with them.  Even when Chris tells me he will get up with the kids (probably once every 2-3 months!!!), he wont get out of bed until around 9am!!!!  And then he doesnt even feed the kids breakfast, I still have to feed and dress (well, pick out clothes) for both kids!  I'm better off getting up myself than letting him!!!


I am so frustrated and resent EVERY member of my family (I HATE feeling this way!!!)  for the way they treat me. I have tried and tried to get each of them to help out more, but NON will. My kids would rather stand in the corner ALL DAY than clean. And Chris thinks because I stay home, its my responsibility anyhow. I am not arguing that I am here to cook, clean and take care of m family... but good God they could pick up after themselves and not cause EXTRA messes and work for me all day.

I feel like Chris and the kids deliberately leave messes, and ignore messes because they KNOW I will take care of them, even when I have asked for help... or asked them to try to be a little more tidy.  I've even tried the "tough love" approach.  Leaving the messes that should not bemy responsibility, but that can only go on so long!  I can;t leave the kids rooms messes, or Chris's clothes all over the living room and our bedroom when we have company coming over!

I'm also a ful time (online) student, and because I am not actuall ygoing to the campus for classes, my class work or time needed to complete it is not taken seriously.  I only picked online courses so I COULD spend time with my family.  And yet I am so mirerable...

My day is pretty full, I get both kids ready for school.  One goes on the bus at 7:30, then I take the pre-schooler (and another carpool kid) to school at 9.  I babysit another preschooler in the afternoon, and have to pick her up from school (my daughter gets home via afternoon carpool).  My boyfriend also comes home for lunch, so I actually cook all three meals every day. 

I do not want to feel this way. I want to enjoy my family, but I'm just not :(  I don;t dare tell them all of these feelings, I imaging Chris would me mad, and I wouldn't want to hurt my kids feelings.  I do not like the way I feel at all, but  dont know how to change it, and enjoy them either.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I have mixed feelings about this.
    tootoobusy

    Answer by tootoobusy at 7:37 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I put in my favorite girl movie and get a tub of ice cream always helps my bad days
    littlemamma25

    Answer by littlemamma25 at 7:38 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • or it just sounds like you need a vacation or a day to the spa. atleast try to take some timne to yourself
    littlemamma25

    Answer by littlemamma25 at 7:40 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • i too have mixed feelings
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 8:13 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • What are your mixed feelings? Why comment at all if you arent really saying anything?

    I'm a mom who LOVES her fmaily, I'm just OVERWHELMED, and feeling like hired help rather than a mommy or girlfriend. :( Its hard when I love each of them SO MUCH, and don't feel nearly as loved in return. I feel like my feelings are neglected, and everything I do is taken for granted, not just housework. :(
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • WELL ???

    If you really mean busnessiness......

    Have a family meeting.

    YOU ARE A WIFE & MOTHER------ NOT A "MAID."

    Get a white cholthes basket, and a black one, show the kids what goes where.

    WARN THEM, If not put up"toys", they will go into a garbage bag........and hide it.

    Tell your husbash " YOU ARE NOT HIS MAMA," these are his children also.
    SissyAnn141

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 9:55 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • SissyAnn,

    Thanks for the ideas... but as I type, I have two trash bags of toys in my closet. LOL. The kids don't even care.

    Family meetings are probably a good ide for families whose kids are a little older. Mine are young... and they would forget about the conversation before lunch :(

    The laundry baskets might be a good idea. Bith kids have baskets in their rooms, they just don't sure them.

    And my boyfriend.... I ask and ask and ask that he be a little more obsevant. That especially if I had just cleaned a room, not to leave a mess there. He leaves mail and trash all over the desk, his jacket on the back of the couch and his boots in the middle of the lviing room. EVERY DAY. When I ask him to please put them away... he gets agitated telling me "I just came in the door.... GIVE me a MINUTE!"... and they all end up sitting there until he goes to work the next day, or I clean off the desk... again. Ughhh
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:50 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Ahhh... I need spell check!

    I meant.... my kids have laundry baskets in their rooms, they just don't USE them.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:51 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Leave every thing where it is for a day or two.Take a break & relax.
    A11

    Answer by A11 at 5:46 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

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