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i have had just about enough >:o!!!i told my daughters christmas was cancelled for them(* long vent)

these past two weeks i dont whats gotten into them last Monday my oldest daughters teacher called and told me she didn't do her weekend homework well when i asked her she said she didn't have time cause she had to get ready for cheer leading when i told her school comes before anything and that she wasn't going back to practice until she turned in all her missing work she threw a tantrum,i don't tolerate those at all but my feet were swollen and i was too tired to deal with it so i just let her scream,:( well then i hear loud noises and shes throwing shoes and toys around messing up my walls, later on i tell my youngest to clean up her room and get ready for bed i layed down for a hour got back up walked in her room and shes sleep in her school clothes and her room is still a mess>:o!i wake her up to take her bath but she doesn't listen so when my husband gets home i told him to handle it..well when i wake up in the morning my daughter is in the shower i go in to the bathroom and start screaming at her and she tells me "daddy told me i can take my bath in the morning"well it just so happens daddy isn't going to be up all night with her when she gets sick,well when i pick them up from school they asked can they eat mc donalds for dinner and i told them"NO im cooking tonight and you guys don't deserve mc donalds well when we get in the grocery store they run off when they know there not supposed to im looking all over for them after 20 minutes them when we get home i tell them to sort out all there clothes so i can start washing them im waiting for them to bring the clothes for a while i finally walk in to the room and there sitting on the bed watching t.v so basically they ignored what i said forget i sorted them out myself then i got a call from my youngest daughters teacher saying she brought a toy to school and she was very disruptive ,after that i had no more energy i told them to take there showers and go to sleep after they ate woke up in the morning neither of them took there showers so there fighting over the bathroom early in the morning over who goes first later that day i picked them up from school and told them to clean there rooms still didn't do it..it is now Sunday and the rooms are still dirty i told my daughter to bring me phone and she smacked her lips and that's when i realized Ive had about enough i told them christmas is canceled until they learn how to behave in school,keep there rooms clean and follow my directions...i told them i was gonna buy Christmas presents for kids that aren't disrespectful to there parents and for kids that deserved it>:o!
*vent over*

Answer Question
 
LABELmeCUTE

Asked by LABELmeCUTE at 7:53 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Holidays

Level 15 (1,951 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Well, don't threaten it unless you're really willing to carry it out.
    Gaccck

    Answer by Gaccck at 7:55 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Every one of those examples were ones where YOU should have stepped up and been the mom. FOLLOW THROUGH. You can't tell kids to do something and not check to make sure it's done then whine about them screwing up. You are the one slacking. Not them. Get it together and act like a mom and not some victim-diva who's been wronged somehow. Quit blaming them. They are kids. You are the mom. Act like it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Yes you seem a little passive. Actually start taking things away that they enjoy. They seem bratty because you are kind of letting them. If they don't do what you ask about laundry, do not do their laundry, you are just letting continue the behavior. Let them have dirty clothes until they start helping you. (but if they need it, you might wanna do their underwear)
    AbsoluteSelf

    Answer by AbsoluteSelf at 8:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Anon's not wrong - you can't just say it, you have to see it through. And gaccck's right too - don't make empty threats. So since you told them that's what you're doing, if you really want them to learn something from it, take them to the mall with you and have them along when you spend the Christmas money buying gifts for charity.
    aliceinalgonac

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:00 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • o boy....i'm so sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. it sounds like it's time for something drastic and to have a real sit down with them plus daddy too. you need to lay down the rules once and for all and make a system that will enforce them (it's alot less work that way lol). they will each have a list of chores that they must do (homework of course is a given, but also things like keeping the room clean, and whatever else they can handle that will help you). if they don't do those things you can remind them (that is their one and only warning), and if it's still not done then it's something major. not doing homework means no cheerleading practice, dirty room means (something taken away that is really important to them.....i'm sure you'll think of something), and most important is to follow through on it. and this is why daddy has to be on the talk too....he needs to work with you, not against you. (con'td.)
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • so i wish you luck and alot of strength. i know it's so hard, but if you're firm and consistant, you'll have better days ahead. and i wouldn't buy them anything for christmas either. i'd buy something for myself with that money. it's time for a reality check for them. ((hugs)) momma
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:02 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • If your children are small, taking away Christmas is not going to be effective. When you give a true gift, you give it out of the kindness of your heart, not as a condition of behavior. FInd a better way to discipline your children. The other ladies have some good ideas. I know it's tiring being consistent, believe me. But it will pay off.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 8:18 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • sounds like ytou are not feeling well. Not spending as much time making sure they are followingthrough and its showing. Now that you said it you've GOT to follow through. And I agree with PP talk suggestion about a family meeting (however I'd talk with DH privately first) so you guys can present a united front.
    MamiJaAyla

    Answer by MamiJaAyla at 8:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I'd start removing privileges. My advice can be summed up in one book that you NEED to get. It's the "love and logic magic for early childhood" To me if there's a manual on parenting this is it. I"m sorry your going threw this. Just remember to stay calm.
    2murphyboys

    Answer by 2murphyboys at 8:22 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I think this would be better in holidays.
    Mom2Just1

    Answer by Mom2Just1 at 8:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

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