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help me regain control

My husband and I are off track and need redirection. Our 2 boys are always in competition with each other. The 7 year old always whines until he gets his way( which is our fault for letting happen) The 9 year old gets mad and says he going to hit his brother and that just feeds the fire even more. We step in and try to talk to both of them about being nice to each other and they both turn on us. Tell us to shut our f@#$% mouth and leave.

I think that the problem started when we sent them to a daycare witch is in my opinion out of control. We are in the process of finding another daycare, but the damage is done.

I find my self yelling more than talking. I need to know how to stop them from being sassy and the swearing.

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Peaches1933

Asked by Peaches1933 at 8:16 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Just sit them down and tell them today is the last day. Never again will they get away with using those words or talking disrespectful to you. Lay out a punishment plan. Let the kids work out battles that are not out of control. It will teach them problem solving.
    dancinintherain

    Answer by dancinintherain at 8:19 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • So sorry mama. I do agree the damage is done, so you have your work cut out for you. Unfrotunately you've probably let them do as they please over the years in these regards. I would do exactly what OP said. First, talk with your husband about what the rules will be. Even write them down where the boys can see. For example, they get a warning, next step is a time out in their room, and nope i don't think 7 & 9 is too old! 1 minute per year of age. Also, if time outs don't seem very effective, taking away privelages will be! After the warning, they loose TV for a day, games for a day, don't get to go to friends house, don't get to go to movies, don't get to do whatever you feel is an appropriate punishment. The hard part will be to follow through every time. These boys are obviously used to you not being consistent or the rule maker, so you will have to stick with it. Good luck, you can do it. Children should NOT be that way!
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 8:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • I would add watch Super Nanny. It will give you some great ideas. Remember punish what you must, always follow through on All threats, reward good behavior as often as you can, make the rules clear. And see if they can come up with fair punishments. If they are involved in the process of the rules, punishments and rewards, they are more likely to follow them.
    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 9:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • They are echoing what they have seen firsthard. Perhaps you and your spouse don't realize you yell/swear as much as you do. Perhaps the daycare is out-of-control? Read anything by Tracy Hogg, and watch Supernanny! Some serious dicipline is in order, and that means for all parties. You cannot give-in when they are out-of-control.
    SamKJones

    Answer by SamKJones at 9:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Thank you all so much. I will do these suggestions. We have tried to do the Supernanny thing but hasn't worked. And you are right the follow through is the toughest part.
    Peaches1933

    Comment by Peaches1933 (original poster) at 9:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Yeah super nanny is great. What didn't work?
    Arkaidy

    Answer by Arkaidy at 10:54 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

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