Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do you take it when someone takes up either your whole day or your SO's? adult content

My DH and I have a friend who's moving. She asked me last week if she could borrow him for a couple hrs today to move the big stuff; well I said as long as she didn't keep him all day that was fine. She knows how much my hubby works and how difficult things have been for us. Well apparently she is blatantly disrespecting my request because her BIL and MIL (the mil lives with them) decided to ditch. Now don't think I'm just some Bitch. I wouldn't mind if first she had ASKED is I needed him home anytime soon. And if when I texted her to ask about their progress she didn't just give me some flip response saying she was smoking pot (she doesn't do that it was supposed to be a joke apparently). She's had him since 10 am it's now almost 7 and I'm seriously considering deleting her off my FB and removing her number from my phone. Our boys haven't even seen him today AT ALL! Grrrrr.....
Sorry about venting I'm not asking for sympathy or anything I just wanted to give you a bit of background. I honestly just want to know what you would personally do in this situation.

PS when hubby got there they weren't even close to being done packing. Which is something he can't help with.


Asked by 2murphyboys at 8:35 PM on Dec. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,683 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • gee, i'm sorry to hear that. i guess your friend could have kept you better informed, but she is probably pissed and stressed since all her help up and left her. so i don't really think it's her fault so much. i do feel bad for the kids. i know they miss their hubby has had to work very late for the past 4 days and so he's only seen them in the morning for like 10 minitues today out of the last 4 days. i don't think it's anything to throw the friendship away over. after all, your husband could just say well i gotta go home now so i can see my kids before they go to bed. and suggest that her in-laws help her with the rest.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 8:40 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • No one can take up my whole day without my allowing it.

    Answer by aliceinalgonac at 8:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • She might be playing the guilt trip card, but he's the one allowing it. He could have taken a stand and chosen not to be taken advantage of like that. He's allowing it. He's choosing it. And while she might be in the wrong, he's the one allowing it to stay that way.

    Answer by Gaccck at 8:45 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • So he's not willing to "leave someone in the lurch" ... but he's willing to not see his own children and he's willing to "blatantly disregard" your request and he's willing to be taken advantage of too. Nice. You might want to try to apply logic. Sure, she crossed the line, there's no question there. But he's the one who let it happen. This is on HIM. Get real.

    Answer by caseyandkids at 10:49 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Okay :) You and your husband are very good people, but there's a balance and make sure you let her know that.

    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 8:57 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • He wants to come home but we don't have a car and she won't take him. She keeps saying "well you can ride the bus if you want but I only need you for another hr" and since it takes over 2 hrs for him to get home on the bus but 30 minutes in a car he stays. She's playing the guilt trip card because her own family won't help her.

    Comment by 2murphyboys (original poster) at 8:41 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • Hmmm... if it were me, I would've gotten in the car and took a trip over there. I feel your husband should've called or texted you too. The moving process is taking too long and I'm not saying it doesn't take that long to move for some people. But! Me being the kind of person I am, I would NEVER keep someone's man for that many hours for ANYTHING! I'm not saying anything's going on, but it's disrespectful. He's not just some single Joe helping out.


    Answer by LanaisSky96 at 8:46 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • My DH isn't the kind of person to leave someone in a lurch and she knows that. For that matter neither am I. However my kids come first and they only get to spend time with him on the weekend. He's up and gone by 6 am and doesn't get home until past 8 when they are already in bed.
    Plus since we don't have a car and she lives 30 miles away from us it's not as simple as just leaving. I think I'm going to call her and tell her to bring him home. That I'm sorry her own family left but that's no reason to punish us for what they did. And let her know that I don't mind helping pack later in the week but that for now we're done. I'll let you know how it goes.

    Comment by 2murphyboys (original poster) at 8:53 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • As far as deleting her from your FB and your phone, that's a little Childish, huh? I mean, talk to her about it, let her know how you feel about her keeping him that long. If you do decide to delete her, then so be it. BUT, I wouldn't go as far as deleting her from your phone just yet. She might call you again, and you not recognize her number, and answer it by mistake.

    Good luck with it. But personally, I'd be pissed if she kept my hubby all day like that.

    Answer by AtHomeMommy-3 at 8:56 PM on Dec. 5, 2010

  • SO Sorry.....

    I have stuff I need him to do at home .( I would say )

    She is taken advantage of him ?

    Is she paying him ?

    Feeding him ?

    IF NO.......
    I would put a stop to it .......

    Answer by SissyAnn141 at 9:40 PM on Dec. 5, 2010