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how do you tell off someone who always means well???

My husbands grandmother has helped us so much since Ive been pregnant. She helped us get a car, an apartment, and helps us financially whenever we need it. at our baby shower we asked for gift cards and cash so we could get a car seat and a stroller, everyone knew what we were gonna do with that money and everyone pitched in, she showed up with a car seat and a stroller and 500 bucks cash for us, she likes to outshine everyone. Now my dd is 3 months old, every time i see this woman she tells me that shes worried im not bonding with her enough, because i work and my dd spends a lot of time with her grandparents. she always tells me that of course its not her business how we raise our dd, but still makes snarky comments here and there. she always means well and helps out a lot. how do i deal with her. i have very mixed feelings about her. she butts in very descreetly, almost unnoticable, but shes there.

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leksismommy

Asked by leksismommy at 1:55 PM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Level 25 (22,485 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • i appreciate everything she does for us, but she goes too far
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 1:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • if they mean well, you don't "tell them off"

    you politely explain your reasoning...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:56 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • i would ignore it my mom does the same thing....it drives me nuts but i know she does it cause she cares..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • yeah i wouldn't want to be the one to say anything. if you must say anything i would have your dh say it. i think she has done so much for you and will continue to do so as long as you stay on her good side. i'm not sure i would want to mess with that. especially if i could just over look what she says and the pop ups. otherwise you could be honest and give back the $500. i would hate taking the money after i kicked her to the curb.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • She's probably not going to change. I think the best approach in situations like this is to remain kind, but work on setting some boundaries. Just remember that she is set in her ways and beliefs, and she means no harm, so when she makes stupid comments, try to laugh them off and just keep on doing what you know is best.
    BlueFrogMama

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 2:54 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • She sounds like a typical grandmother, if you dont want her butting in then stop exepting her gifts and finanical favors.....
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 2:55 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Why would you want to "tell someone off" who has been incredibly generous and obviously concerned? She is your child's great grandmother and you are very lucky to have her in your life. My children don't have their grandparents, let alone a great grandparent. Soak up the love and let her spoil your little girl. It obviously won't be forever. Just enjoy it, get a lot of pictures of her with your daughter for memories when your daughter is older.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:16 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I agree with BlueFrog. She sounds set in her ways. I have a step-mother just like that, who will never agree with what I'm doing unless I prove my case. But I remind myself that she's just concerned, and that I'm blessed to have someone care so much in my life. If you really need to let off some steam, try writing her a note that you will never send. I know it sounds cliche', but for me, it really works!
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 5:53 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • she told my dh's mother that she doesnt deseeve to be a grandmother to my dd
    leksismommy

    Answer by leksismommy at 12:09 PM on Nov. 7, 2008

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