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is it Cheating?

k, me and my husband have a beautiful romantic sex life, so the night before we expressed it so beautifully. as usual my husband wakes up to get ready for work to let me get some extra shut eye, he takes care of baby if he is awake and such but baby decides to sleep in so he just gets ready for work, now after a certain time of morning i wake up no matter what and the computer is in our bedroom of our house, its a small house and our bedroom is big. I turn over and he is sitting in front of the computer with porn on beating his meat! i didnt know what to do i feel a little betrayed, i mean we had such a beautiful night last night and i wouldn't have minded being woken up if he was horny, but i feel like i have been cheated on. And this is not the first time i have caught him either. every time i see him i feel like i am going to hurl. it just hurts. has this ever happened to you and how do i handle this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Nov. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (32)
  • Yes it is cheating. What did you do?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I honestly don't have any problem with it, but the way that you feel is the exactly what is right for you. There is no right or wrong way for you to feel. Have you talked to him about it? Ask him why he feels he can't come to you or why he wants to watch porn instead? Does it bother you if he masterbates without pornography? Because if it is just the idea that he is doing it to other women while watching pornography, then tell him so. I think the only way to handle this is to come right out with it and be direct. I don't think you will get anywhere by beating around the bush to be honest. Just a suggestion, perhaps you two can make your own tapes for him to review later when he wants a little action but doesn't want to wake you? Then he is using you as stimulus, not someone else? Would that be a compromise maybe you two could make?
    Mom1Stepmom1

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 2:27 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • IT IS NOT cheating anon 2:24!!! I personally dont have to deal with this, my hubby doesnt, if he does I am never aware of it, as he would do it in private, or next to me after foreplay. There is also no porn in my house, neither of us find it necessary. Your hubster's libido is probably going a bit faster than yours lately. Obviously he's not trying to hide if from you if he's doing it in the same room. If it hurts your feelings (as it would mine), let him know that you find it uncomfortable, and maybe he can either do it in private, or knock it off all together. Its really not that big a deal, it's more of a kick to your ego than anything.
    ZoeKatsMom

    Answer by ZoeKatsMom at 2:31 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • I don't really see it as cheating, nor does it bother me. But it bothers you, so talk to him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Come on cheating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????? How can he cheat with his hand and a girl on the computer screen he will never in his lifetime even lay his hands on!!!! Men are visual creatures they like to look.... I might be a little upset that my hubby didnt wake me up to get some rather than doing that but as for thinking he is cheating that is just REDICULOUS!!!!! Think about how silly that sounds!!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 2:31 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • OMG grow up.
    its not cheating.
    you need to uncover deeper isues with yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • men are men don't worry at least he is not at a strip club if that's the worse thing you have to deal with you are blessed

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Let me clarify, masterbating is not cheating. Using porn to masturbate is.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Using porn to masturbate is not cheating my god get a reality check!!
    scaredmommy08

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 2:40 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

  • Am I not entitled to my opinion?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:42 PM on Nov. 6, 2008

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