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How do you guys do it?

Please give me tips on how you guys handle mutiple children? I have a 2yr old and a five day old and I am about the pull my hair out. When so you guys find the time to take care of yourself? It seems like I am constantly feeding or pumping. Or trying to keep my oldest from attacking the baby. I have no help my hubby works 14hrs a day and when he gets home I he wants to do is crash (not complaining about that). I don't even have time to take a bath and when I do I have to worry about what my oldest is up to. I can't sleep when they sleep because i have to worry about what to cook for dinner or pumping(baby girl haven't latch on to my breast yet. I have to take every thing slow and sit down and rest constantly( had a tubal and its still painful). Any advise is welcome. Ans I have much respect for all you ladies out there who are holding her on.

 
nicjon

Asked by nicjon at 9:29 AM on Dec. 6, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,698 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Don't try to micro-manage everything. You're driving yourself crazy... Look for some help, friends, family, and talk to your Hubby. You're doing a fulltime job as well, so he can help out too. Plus you're recovering from your tubal. With all of the stress it's going to affect your supply and the fact that your baby won't latch on. The one thing my sister told me yrs ago with our first was to relax, once I learned to do that he latched on and then everthing started to work out. If you're stressed your children will be, and they literally feed off of your emotions. I hope everything gets better. Now take a deep breath, and get some help.
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 9:35 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Just remember that this will pass ! .. you baby will get a little older and every day will get better !

    Honestly you might have to go without fixing your hair or makeup or things like that for a couple weeks lol... maybe you husband could hold the baby for 10 minutes while you shower?

    I used to do thing when they went to bed at night... and I would try to get up before my toddler in the morning
    2lilbumblebees

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 9:35 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • I had an 18 month old when I had my son it's hard at first but wait till they start playing you'll have time lol my Son is now almost one. Find a babysitter for a couple hours and take some you time. I had my mom come over while I took a nap a few times. It's interesting for sure but you can do it good luck mamma
    Heidikans

    Answer by Heidikans at 9:38 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • well just a word of advice about the nursing thing. pumping is not helping your baby learn how to latch on. the only way she can learn how to do that is by practicing. i would suggest that you put the pump away until she has become a pro at nursing and your milk supply is well established. bottle feeding and pumping will not help at all....they will hinder the process. but anyway, that will aleviate some of your problems. i have 3 kids (5yo, 2yo and 1yo). my husband works alot where he will be gone for 24, 48 or sometimes up to 5 days. i don't live near my family, so it's just me. i know it always seems overwhelming in the beginning with a newborn, but it really helps to be organized. when you are fixing lunch for you and the 2yo, also fix some snacks so if the older kid gets hungry you can tell them where the snack is and you don't have to interrupt nursing or whatever you're doing. it also helps to have a schedule (cont'd
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:40 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • You're only ONE person. If your two year old has to sit and wait for something while you feed your infant then they wait. If your infant has to wait while you handle your two year old, then they wait. When your two year old is down for a nap, then slip into the shower and take as long of one as you need. Even if one child wakes up don't rush out and rush to them. It's okay if they sit in there and fuss for a while. It won't hurt them and it won't scar them. Put up a gate in your toddler's doorway if that makes you feel safer. It's important that they both learn to comfort themselves and be okay with you not rushing to their side the first second they fuss. Especially important with the infant. My suggestion is to write out a meal plan for the next week (or two), so then you know what each meal will be before it comes up. That will help you from having to mull it over during your day.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:40 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • :( its hard in the beginning. your baby is only 5 days old, each day that passes will get easier, your baby will get more adjusted to her schedule, your older one will get more adjusted to the new changes going on in his/her life, and so will you.

    i have three, and they're only 3.5 years between my oldest and youngest. showering is done when they're either napping (i tweaked their routines so they'll nap at the same time) or after they go to bed. if anything, you can engage your oldest in something entertaining in your room and put a babygate in front of your door, shower with your bathroom door open and have baby in a bouncer in the bathroom with you. that is if a shower is an absolute must-have while they're awake lol.

    cleaning and such, let it go for now. rest often and regain your energy. having a baby is exhausting, raising children is even more tiring. just do what you can, when you can.

    this too shall pass:)
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:42 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • i know at first it will be a rough schedule, but try to have meals, snack, bath and bed around the same time everyday for the 2yo. this will give you less stress because you'll get used to planning/budgeting your time, and it will make all the changes easier for the older kid because kids like stability and predictability in their routine. about the bath thing....well i have taken many a shower with the baby in the swing or car seat or crib. anywhere safe. i usually only take 10 min. and usually they don't wake up, but if they do it's not like they're screaming for hours on end. so i suggest taking a shower when the older one is asleep and the baby is fed, etc. it really will get better. try not to stress.....it won't be like that forever.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:44 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • To help with breastfeeding is to wear the baby against your chest for a few hours. The closeness and the warmth may help encourage your baby to latch on.

    Sometimes if you need a quick moment to do something, then put your toddler in the highchair with a bunch of toys. Or maybe even a color book and some crayons. Turn on his favorite show and go do what you need to do. It'll keep him occupied for a while and you can have some free time to relax for a little bit. Even if you don't sleep when they're sleeping use that time to do other things. Even if it's sit on your patoot and watch TV. Just take every moment that you can out for yourself without guilt. You're ONE person and you're not superwomen, unfortunately. So just remember that one can always wait and finding every minute for yourself when they're taken care of is important.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 9:50 AM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Things will get better. Take a bath with your little one, so you don't have to worry what she is up too. Dinner? If you have no help, I say put easy quick, do it yourself stuff in the fridge and it is every man for themselves. I have 5 kids, and sometimes I feel like I live in a zoo. But things do get better. Tell you DH you are tired too, and for awhile he is going to have to suck it up and help more for awhile.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 1:35 PM on Dec. 6, 2010