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Why do the in laws have to be such pains?

I really try to bite my tongue and stay calm when we get together with my husbands side of the family. But lately it has been harder and harder. At Thanksgiving we got handed a schedule from my husband's oldest sister until the year 2015 on who is having what holiday at their house, and then last night I find out that she did not book our room for family Christmas because she didn't think that we were coming because we didn't respond to her text (that we didn't receive). How can I make her realize that she isn't in control of the entire family and how would you hand these situations? Thank you! :)

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Michelleb05

Asked by Michelleb05 at 12:28 PM on Dec. 6, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • It is your husbands sister,tell him to handle it!
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 12:30 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • If you find the answer pls let me know. DH wont stand up to his mom.
    voni681

    Answer by voni681 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Some people can be such control freaks! It sounds more like she was "punishing" you for not responding promptly to her text because the nice thing to do would have been to call and double check with you-is there still a chance to get a room booked or is it too late? As far as the holiday schedule goes if I were you the next time you get together with all of them tell them that having a holiday schedule is a neat idea but you would at least like to have some input on what holiday you are going to be assigned-also myself I think that 5 years in advance is a little extreme-how in the world do you know what your plans are going to be in 5 years, I would think one year at a time should be more than enough. Is the rest of the family alright with his sister being so pushy?
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:34 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • Ashley-That was my thoughts as well. It wouldn't have been a big deal had all of us had an input. I agree on the 5 years. Year to year would have been just fine. The rest of the family just bows down and lets her get away with it. I don't agree with it. His mom is a push-over and goes in whatever direction his two sisters tells her to go. I came from a family that was brought up way different that this.
    Michelleb05

    Comment by Michelleb05 (original poster) at 12:36 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • well if the rest of the family is going to jump down your throat for spoiling things then I would just have your husband be the one to talk to her-I would be so annoyed if I were in your shoes!! Besides what makes them think you want to spend every holiday with them anyhow-not in a mean way but that should be up to you and your husband-not his family.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 12:41 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

  • This is all your husbands doing! The reason they treat you like this is because he lets them. It will do you no good to do or say anything if in the end, he doesn't back you with a strong front. Also, since it is his family, he's the one that needs to point out to them that you are his wife and you are his immediate family and should be treated with the honor and respect you deserve. I know exactly how you feel and my husband won't back me for shit. Hopefully yours actually loves you and he will.
    ShouldHaveLeft

    Answer by ShouldHaveLeft at 2:07 PM on Dec. 6, 2010

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